23 definitions by eighthofseven
To overdecorate the exterior of one's place of residence with ludicrous numbers of fairy lights, inflatable santas and snowmen, flashing Santa's sleighs etc., to the point where one becomes the object of ridicule for one's neighbours and also runs up an enormous electricity bill.
"I see Jeff down the road is houseblinging again this Christmas".
"That guy by the crossroads has more lights than the Griswolds in 'Christmas Vacation', and that was houseblinging to die for."
"That guy by the crossroads has more lights than the Griswolds in 'Christmas Vacation', and that was houseblinging to die for."
by eighthofseven October 22, 2007
Crumb blindness is a genetically transmitted condition which expresses itself similarly to haemophillia; both males and females acn be carriers, but it only exhibits itself in males.
Sufferers from crumb blindless are unable to see the mess left in food preparation areas as a result of the hasty assembly of snack foods, especially when this occurs during intervals in televised major sporting events.
The result is a kitchen strewn with torn-open bags and packets, carelessly discarded dirty cutlery, and crumbs everywhere.
When confronted with the "evidence", the sufferer from crumb blindness will profess genuine astonishment, having been completely unaware of the effects of their activity until it is drawn to their attention by their (usually female) partner.
Crumb blindness in females is extremely rare, and the subject of special study; in males, 100% of the population carry the gene, and it is expressed to some extent in over 70% of adult males.
There is no known cure, but single males tend to suffer more than those with long term partners.
Sufferers from crumb blindless are unable to see the mess left in food preparation areas as a result of the hasty assembly of snack foods, especially when this occurs during intervals in televised major sporting events.
The result is a kitchen strewn with torn-open bags and packets, carelessly discarded dirty cutlery, and crumbs everywhere.
When confronted with the "evidence", the sufferer from crumb blindness will profess genuine astonishment, having been completely unaware of the effects of their activity until it is drawn to their attention by their (usually female) partner.
Crumb blindness in females is extremely rare, and the subject of special study; in males, 100% of the population carry the gene, and it is expressed to some extent in over 70% of adult males.
There is no known cure, but single males tend to suffer more than those with long term partners.
"Christ ! Look at this place ! How much mess does it take to make one sandwich ?"
"Sorry, hun.... I just didn't realise......I think I have crumb blindness"
"Sorry, hun.... I just didn't realise......I think I have crumb blindness"
by eighthofseven August 13, 2007
A carbon-based life form, masquerading as a dog, not yet satisfactorily proven to be of terrestrial origin.
They may be the product of genetic manipulation or some other advanced technology, as they certianly don't behave anything like real dogs; they are more like tiny furry humans. They don't talk, but that's probably only because they have such disdain for us. They may well be cats in dog suits, but no zipper has yet been located. They look like a cross bewteen an Ewok, a Mugwai and a Hobbit; they have large, round eyes with a gentle, loving expression, which conceals the vast, malign intellect within. They are clever, inquisitive, ingenious and capable of thoughtful malice and destruction. They can look and act VERY cute when they want to, and really know how to work a crowd. They may be related in some way to lephrechauns, as they seem to have a number of paranormal powers, including the ability always to be the wrong side of a closed door.
It is not disputed that for may years, Shih Tzu were the pampered pets of the Chinese Imperial family. As a result of this, Shih Tzu seem to have a racial memory of being carried round on silk cusions with golden tassels, and fed tiny morsels of tasty food by a small army of subservient flunkeys. Since this is what they are used to, this is what they expect. Any Shih Tzu inserted into a "normal" house consisting of adult and immature humans, other dogs, cats etc. will, despite their diminutive size, quickly become "boss" of the entire establishment; they have a Size Twelve personality squashed down into a Size Three body.
It is oftain said by those who do not understand them that Shih Tzu think they are human. This is not in fact correct; Shih Tzu know they are Shih Tzu, but importantly what they also know is that humans are just big pink monkeys placed on this planet to be at their beck and call every moment of the day and night, and to tend to their every whim immediately and without question. When one of their slaves fails to behave as expected, they generally adopt a puzzled, sorrowful look, as if pitying the lack of understanding.
If they do not get their own way immediately, the look of pity is replaced by what can only be described as a Special Paddington Hard Stare, swiftly followed by The End Of the World As You Know It as the docile little furball erupts into incandescent rage at your incompetence.
Depriving a Shih tzu of something it wants (Biscuits, your dinner, the middle of the double bed, the most comfy chair, a go at driving your car) can result in an orgy of destruction; expect linings pulled out of shoes, remote controls hidden under furniture, expensive audio cables chewed through, and puddles of urine on the bathroom floor as a carefully placed early morning trap for the unwary.
On the other hand, Shih Tzu often behave like living Teddy Bears, and enjoy being treated as such. They can be very affectionate and cuddly. Don't be fooled; this means that (a) they have done something bad, and are trying to build up 'credit', or more usually (b) they are planning something, and are lulling you into a false sense of security.
They may be the product of genetic manipulation or some other advanced technology, as they certianly don't behave anything like real dogs; they are more like tiny furry humans. They don't talk, but that's probably only because they have such disdain for us. They may well be cats in dog suits, but no zipper has yet been located. They look like a cross bewteen an Ewok, a Mugwai and a Hobbit; they have large, round eyes with a gentle, loving expression, which conceals the vast, malign intellect within. They are clever, inquisitive, ingenious and capable of thoughtful malice and destruction. They can look and act VERY cute when they want to, and really know how to work a crowd. They may be related in some way to lephrechauns, as they seem to have a number of paranormal powers, including the ability always to be the wrong side of a closed door.
It is not disputed that for may years, Shih Tzu were the pampered pets of the Chinese Imperial family. As a result of this, Shih Tzu seem to have a racial memory of being carried round on silk cusions with golden tassels, and fed tiny morsels of tasty food by a small army of subservient flunkeys. Since this is what they are used to, this is what they expect. Any Shih Tzu inserted into a "normal" house consisting of adult and immature humans, other dogs, cats etc. will, despite their diminutive size, quickly become "boss" of the entire establishment; they have a Size Twelve personality squashed down into a Size Three body.
It is oftain said by those who do not understand them that Shih Tzu think they are human. This is not in fact correct; Shih Tzu know they are Shih Tzu, but importantly what they also know is that humans are just big pink monkeys placed on this planet to be at their beck and call every moment of the day and night, and to tend to their every whim immediately and without question. When one of their slaves fails to behave as expected, they generally adopt a puzzled, sorrowful look, as if pitying the lack of understanding.
If they do not get their own way immediately, the look of pity is replaced by what can only be described as a Special Paddington Hard Stare, swiftly followed by The End Of the World As You Know It as the docile little furball erupts into incandescent rage at your incompetence.
Depriving a Shih tzu of something it wants (Biscuits, your dinner, the middle of the double bed, the most comfy chair, a go at driving your car) can result in an orgy of destruction; expect linings pulled out of shoes, remote controls hidden under furniture, expensive audio cables chewed through, and puddles of urine on the bathroom floor as a carefully placed early morning trap for the unwary.
On the other hand, Shih Tzu often behave like living Teddy Bears, and enjoy being treated as such. They can be very affectionate and cuddly. Don't be fooled; this means that (a) they have done something bad, and are trying to build up 'credit', or more usually (b) they are planning something, and are lulling you into a false sense of security.
"Where are my socks ?"
"Oh no.... check under the bed. You know how much Shih Tzu like sucking smelly socks...."
"Oh no.... check under the bed. You know how much Shih Tzu like sucking smelly socks...."
by eighthofseven October 23, 2007
When recounting a "tall story", the response "Tell it to the Marines" implies, "Go and tell your sea-story to some gullible landlubber, because no sailor will believe you".
Dates back to the before the Napoleonic wars, in the Royal Navy.
Dates back to the before the Napoleonic wars, in the Royal Navy.
Pilot #1: "I lost the starboard engine on the base leg, but I still managed to bring it it for a perfect three-point greaser"
Pilot #2: "Tell it to the Marines"
Pilot #2: "Tell it to the Marines"
by eighthofseven August 31, 2010
Gasoline fuel intended for piston aircraft engines. It has a relatively high Octane number compared to fuel for road vehicles; AVGAS is usually 110 (110 LL) whereas road fuel is in the 89 to 93 Octane range.
by eighthofseven October 23, 2007
1. A combat situation in which an attacker, normally equipped with a superior weapons system, is presented with a large number of highly desireable, poorly defended and high-value targets all at once, such a situation might be an attack helecopter with night vision capability finding a complete enemy brigade or divisional HQ convoy stalled at night on a narrow road with no place to go and no air defence.
2. A workplace, bar, party or other place of entertainment where a new arrival finds a large number of attractive, unattached members of the opposite sex, and is spoilt for choice.
2. A workplace, bar, party or other place of entertainment where a new arrival finds a large number of attractive, unattached members of the opposite sex, and is spoilt for choice.
"God, I was in the pub last night and this hen party wandered in.... a dozen pissed girls looking for fun... that's what I call a target rich environment !"
by eighthofseven October 23, 2007
"Wow ! What happened to your car ?"
"I had a discussion with a biker at the traffic lights and my front end got a bit of involuntary restyling".
"I had a discussion with a biker at the traffic lights and my front end got a bit of involuntary restyling".
by eighthofseven August 14, 2007