close encounter of the turd kind

1. Having a negative experience with a douchebag of a person.

2. When you step on dog poop.

3. When a monkey flings his poop and *wham! splat* catches you.

4. Any doo-related major life experience

"Whooooaaa, dude, I heard you and Ryan yelling at each other all night!" "Yeah, it was a close encounter of the turd kind."

"Hey, why are you dragging your foot and what's that smell?" "Close encounter of the turd kind."

"Damn you evil little monkey, did not expect that close encounter of the turd kind!"

"Shane and I had a close encounter of the turd kind."

by mindenoodle February 11, 2010

close encounter of the third kind

an experience with a human that is so bizarre one might as well be dealing with an alien.

when i was dealing with those liberals, it was a definite close encounter of the third kind...

by michael foolsley November 23, 2009

Close Encounter of the Second Kind

When you wipe after taking a shit and you accidentally get some shit on your hand.

Man, I just had a close encounter of the second kind in there. I gotta wash my hands!

by M#TH August 12, 2018

close encounter of the turd kind

1. A bad experience with a human douche of a person.

2. Stepping on dog crap.

3. When a monkey flings his poo at you and *wham!splat* tags you where it counts.

"Whooah, I heard you and Ryan fighting all night," "Yeah, it was a close encounter of the turd kind."

"Why are you walking dragging your foot and what's that smell?" "Close encounter of the turd kind."

"Damn you, evil little monkey! No thanks for the close encounter of the turd kind!"

by carmenarmen February 11, 2010

Close Encounter Of The Sperm Kind

When you almost get caught jacking off.

Billy: My sister almost walked in on me masturbating.
Fred: Guess you could call that "A Close Encounter Of The Sperm Kind".
Billy: Damn it Fred, you're not funny.

by AcneAndAnthrax May 4, 2015

close encounter of the turd kind

experiences in a public bathroom, sitting next to someone 'deffing' in a loud manner! -general deffing experiences in public facilities

i had a close encounter of the turd kind at the airport 'bowls'

someone 'deffing' next to me provided a close encounter of the turd kind!

by michael foolsley January 10, 2010

close encounter of the twenty-second kind

When an alien spaceship disappears up your behind

Person 1: My friend Matt has recently had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind.
Person 2: That's rough, is it still in there?

by Naked_Grandma January 4, 2024