Clarinet Player 

the hottest people alive. Known to be good kissers, and give amazing head. This applies to all people that were ever good at the clarinet, even if they stopped. They're experienced at handling wood.

person 1: yo you got head from that mad hot clarinet player?

person 2: mary? yes! fucking amazing.

Clarinet Player by joegee April 3, 2010

Clarinet Player 

Someone superior to everyone (including the band director). A clarinetist enjoys long walks on the beach and being a better person than everyone else. Also infinitely smarter and sexier than percussionists.

Person 1: Woah, is that a Clarinet Player?
Clarinetist: Yes I am indeed.
Person 1: I could tell because you are infinitely smarter and sexier than percussionists.

Clarinet Player by Better than Percussionists June 17, 2022

Bass Clarinet Player 

Usually, a bass clarinet player is a misunderstood, but very useful instrument in a band. Higher than a bari sax, but lower than a tenor sax, the bass clarinet player is the median in a low reed section. Not too high, not too low.

Band Director 1:We need more bari.
Bd 2:We need more tenor.
Bd 3:Nah, both would be over-kill. We need something in between.
Bd 1:We could add some bass clarinets player...
All:YES!

-------------------------------------------

Our tubas suck, so what do we do? Add more bass clarinets.

-Bass Clarinet Player explanation of what happens to tubas that suck

Bass Clarinet Player by Phantom034` November 3, 2008

bass clarinet player 

The most smiley person in the band, always willing to help.

Person: Hey could you help me move the Bass Drum?
Bass Clarinet Player: No problem!!

bass clarinet player by 1st Chair December 27, 2009

The SEXIEST Clarinet Player 

There is no sexier clarinet player than Charles Roeger. He really plays with those pipes well. God what a HoTty.

#SaveTheWales

George Washington: Have you ever heard of The SEXIEST Clarinet Player?
Bernie Sanders: NO leave me alone.
Benjamin Franklin: It's Charles Roeger

The SEXIEST Clarinet Player by JesusChrissss December 11, 2019

bass clarinet player 

Usually a player of the bass clarinet which is just like a regular clarinet but lower. Might be friends with the alto saxophone player and may cause unneeded drama in band.

A bass clarinet player that finds the need to date all saxophone players of her class

bass clarinet player by alskj November 23, 2007