civil asset forfeiture

a system by which American authorities can legally seize your property if they suspect that it was used to make or sell drugs, or bought with drug money.
They don't have to prove anything, or have a warrant. They only need probable cause, which can be given by a drug dog scam. You may or not be charged with a crime, and you might never get your stuff back.

Ethel Hylton: "Why are you taking my money?"

Cop: "Civil Asset Forfeiture, ma'am. (Google it.) The dog smells drugs on your cash, so we're taking it all."

Ethel Hylton: "But I've never even touched any drugs."

Cop: "No, but your money has."

Ethel Hylton: "I'm innocent! I've done nothing wrong"

Cop: Relax, nobody's accusing you of anything. We're just taking your money. Forever."

Ethel Hylton: "wha...?"

civil asset forfeiture by pseudoanonymous July 4, 2009

Get merch

Get the civil asset forfeiture mug.

See more merch

Serial Monogamist

Someone who jumps from one relationship immediately into another one.

Serial monogamists can not stand to be alone and often suffer from vast commitment and insecurity issues.

Because they jump into relationships immediately after the previous one has ended, serial monogamists typically don't take the time to reflect on their behavior or why their previous relationships failed; thus, they end up making the same relationship mistakes over and over again.

Person 1: Damn, Dustin already has a new girlfriend?! It's only been two weeks since he broke up with his fiance! I think he's a sociopath.

Person 2: No, he's a serial monogamist...

Serial Monogamist by Goody2Shuze March 6, 2016

Word of the Day on June 22, 2026

Get merch

liquid lunch

A lunchbreak comprised entirely of alcoholic beverages, and no food.

"With all the lay-offs that morning, it was rough. I hit the bar around the corner for a liquid lunch mid-day."

liquid lunch by Alexandra July 27, 2004

Word of the Day on June 21, 2026

Get merch

dunzo

Dunzo, a slang word for done/finshed. Made famous by the Laguna Beach cast.

This car is so dunzo. (Kristin's car breaks down.)

dunzo by Joey Pellet December 8, 2004

Word of the Day on June 20, 2026

Get merch

ankle biter

Someone or something that bites your ankles.
To a postman, an ankle biter is often known as a dog.
To an adult, an ankle biter may be a toddler.
To hikers, an ankle biter is sometimes a tick.
And so on.

"Dang ankle biter took off my whole leg!!"

ankle biter by the sane maniac February 2, 2004

Word of the Day on June 19, 2026

Get merch

Male Pattern Blindness

When a man will search for hours to find something that is laying out in the open on a table. Items are often easily found by a women.

Man: "I have been searching for hours for keys."
Woman: "You mean the ones sitting there on the coffee table?"
Man: "Where?"
Woman: "Right there in the middle of that table."
Man: "oh, must have been Male Pattern Blindness"

Male Pattern Blindness by diablo581 February 10, 2008

Word of the Day on June 18, 2026

Get merch

Pretty Privilege

A person who has more opportunities, and becomes more successful in life because of how attractive they are.

"Pretty privilege isn't a thing." "Yes it is have you seen GeorgeNotFound"

"GeorgeNotFound has so much pretty privilege its not fair!!!"

Pretty Privilege by justagirljustme March 12, 2021

Word of the Day on June 17, 2026

Get merch