Oh, my! A twelve year-old girl wearing a t-shirt proclaiming her status as a ‘slut’. How tasteful. Mother would be so proud…
Is she..? Yes, she is! A Chavette! Sorry, didn’t spot it quickly enough – forgive me, I’m blind.
Here are a few clues for Chav-spotters:
Girls (Chavettes, Sengas):
- Bling, and lots of it.
- Hoop earrings you could drive a bus through
- Hair pulled back so tight as to provide a facial expression of constant surprise
- At least three children trailing
- Smoking a fag – a little white stick poking out of your mouth really does make you look TERRIBLY sophisticated, dear…
- Talking on a mobile
- Wearing a variety of coins/Christmas cracker rings on fingers
- Cow-eyed look in eyes
- Skin as white as death, with blue tinges here and there (occasional purple and yellow ones too, from constant spousal abuse) and a red nose from smoking/drinking too much
- Skirt pulled up to just below the hair-line (please God don’t EVER let it get any higher)
- Fat Chavettes – without exception - sport tight, too-short tops that would put even the hardiest person off their meal, and trousers that expose a crack minging enough to put a plumber to shame
- Throws litter/gum/cigarette butts onto the pavement/bus floor
Boys
- Baseball caps on (but probably don’t know what baseball is)
- Hair so short it could pop balloons
- Fewer teeth than a Shanghai hobo
- Tiny, skinny frame laden with heavy fake-gold
- Cheap nylon track-suits
- Smoking a fag (of course) and spitting at passers-by
- Usually found sitting on the top of a park bench or a wall in the town centre
- Ears near the back of their necks, a particularly endearing genetic malformation
- Always mock-fighting with fellow Chavs, possibly to intimidate onlookers
- In vehicles that are horribly unroadworthy, and which generally have no engine. The booming bass from the shite they listen to provides enough momentum
Classless, no-mannered, ugly, aggressive, incredibly stupid wastes of flesh. They need to be lined up and shot.
Is she..? Yes, she is! A Chavette! Sorry, didn’t spot it quickly enough – forgive me, I’m blind.
Here are a few clues for Chav-spotters:
Girls (Chavettes, Sengas):
- Bling, and lots of it.
- Hoop earrings you could drive a bus through
- Hair pulled back so tight as to provide a facial expression of constant surprise
- At least three children trailing
- Smoking a fag – a little white stick poking out of your mouth really does make you look TERRIBLY sophisticated, dear…
- Talking on a mobile
- Wearing a variety of coins/Christmas cracker rings on fingers
- Cow-eyed look in eyes
- Skin as white as death, with blue tinges here and there (occasional purple and yellow ones too, from constant spousal abuse) and a red nose from smoking/drinking too much
- Skirt pulled up to just below the hair-line (please God don’t EVER let it get any higher)
- Fat Chavettes – without exception - sport tight, too-short tops that would put even the hardiest person off their meal, and trousers that expose a crack minging enough to put a plumber to shame
- Throws litter/gum/cigarette butts onto the pavement/bus floor
Boys
- Baseball caps on (but probably don’t know what baseball is)
- Hair so short it could pop balloons
- Fewer teeth than a Shanghai hobo
- Tiny, skinny frame laden with heavy fake-gold
- Cheap nylon track-suits
- Smoking a fag (of course) and spitting at passers-by
- Usually found sitting on the top of a park bench or a wall in the town centre
- Ears near the back of their necks, a particularly endearing genetic malformation
- Always mock-fighting with fellow Chavs, possibly to intimidate onlookers
- In vehicles that are horribly unroadworthy, and which generally have no engine. The booming bass from the shite they listen to provides enough momentum
Classless, no-mannered, ugly, aggressive, incredibly stupid wastes of flesh. They need to be lined up and shot.
by Blitzkrieg October 19, 2004
Closest thing to a human dog.
They tend to walk in packs consisting of a few males and one bitch (usually for mating). If given eye contact they will take it as a challenge and defend themselves using a knife (also known as shank). Their diet consists of cheap food and cider/beer which they got from benefits.
Fur colour ranges from dark to light tracksuits with a flat peak, gold collar and gay ass trainers. Mode of transport is normally a shitty little car which they think is 'sick'. They communicate with one another through loud, annoying music and by using words such as 'safe, innit, narrrr mate! and wot ya saying blud?' most of the time this is hard to distinguish.
Highly aggressive-avoid at all cost.
They tend to walk in packs consisting of a few males and one bitch (usually for mating). If given eye contact they will take it as a challenge and defend themselves using a knife (also known as shank). Their diet consists of cheap food and cider/beer which they got from benefits.
Fur colour ranges from dark to light tracksuits with a flat peak, gold collar and gay ass trainers. Mode of transport is normally a shitty little car which they think is 'sick'. They communicate with one another through loud, annoying music and by using words such as 'safe, innit, narrrr mate! and wot ya saying blud?' most of the time this is hard to distinguish.
Highly aggressive-avoid at all cost.
by jessie_louise1 April 21, 2010
an ever-growing population of people mostly from council estates. these are mostly 9-15 year olds who think they are gods gift to the world because they are 14 and already has had a child with their morbidley obese girlfriend who probably gave her boyfriends best mate a blow job for a fruit pastille. their main hangout spots are town centres and street corners where they harrass the elderly and the weak and think that this is cool. to attract the opposite sex, which is called a chavette, they wear far to much fake gold and silver which they most probably stole from a market stall at skegness, and wear baseball caps, fake tracksuits (you will find that these are mostly adidas, nike and TN) and and apply ridiculous amounts of cheap aftershave which has the distinctive smell of cat urine. when they have attracted a mate they will give their mate a gift to help their chances of sleeping with them, this is usually an alcoholic beverage (stella artois and cheap cider are highly common) they will then take them to a mating spot, popular spots are on parks and behind bike sheds at school. after this the female or "chavette" will live benifits for the rest of their life and get a council flat which the tax payers will provide, the chavette will then turn the flat into a hoar house and will bring a different chav home almost every night and will neglect the child, unfortunatly this will most probably result in the baby following in their parents footsteps. the chavs and chavettes have developed their own language due to the species being borderline illiterate and needing to form short words to replace others, e.g "blad" meaning friend, or "yard" meaning house, or in the case of the chavettes, council flat.it is likely that up to 90% of the chav population are unable to spell these simple words from their own slang. the chavs have branched off from their far more intelligent cousins; the football hooligans nearly the entire population of chavs are weak and only have a slight amount of bravery when they are with their fellow kinsmen, it is likely that if you get on of them alone they will threaten to shank you with a knife they pretend to have and then run off to their council flat and cry in fear of their lives until they are re-united with more chavs.
chavette yo blad wanna cum to my yard and ill tug u off 4 a stella?
chav no blad, im goin down the endzz wiv the crew to throw bricks at the old peoples home.
chav no blad, im goin down the endzz wiv the crew to throw bricks at the old peoples home.
by lord loverocket June 1, 2009
by AlexMV January 19, 2006
Humanoid in appearance, but primative and animalistic in nature, chavs are fast becoming the bane of humanity. Now all but classified as a completely seperate species, chavs took the left of the fork on the road of evolution when everybody else went right. Today, chavs can be seen in almost every urban area of Britain. Easily identified by either their baseball caps, hooped sports sweaters, excess Burberry and impossibly colourful Nike trainers (male) or scraped back frizzy hair, earrings you could train a dolphin to jump through, cheap leggings and Reebok Classics (female), chavs hunt in packs. Unlike other species, chavs hunt for cigarettes and bus fare instead of food. Food is always obtained at fast food establishments such as McDonalds, or convenience stores (Spar, Late Shop). It is quite common for food to be thrown instead of eaten, with the chav preferring his / her fags and cider / Lambrini (charver cava). Chavs are normally hostile towards humans, particularly those who favour alternative music, whom they have branded "moshers" or "grungers". A chav's music collection is limited. Hip-hop and hardcore for the males, Britney and trance for the females. Dogs (the more volatile, the better), mobile phones, cheap or fake gold and "souped-up" (debadged) 1990's Vauxhall Novas are must-have accessories. Note: the above description typifies the average chav, but there are actually quite a few varieties. Be sure to look for them at any of the following locations: McDonalds, Burger King, Spar, Late Shop, Primark, TK-Maxx, any sportswear retailer or any local park (after 6pm). Examples of a chav's primative vocabulary are as follows:
Chav: Eeyar yo! Mosha! Gotta spare cig?
Brian: No, I don't smoke.
Chav: Wha' ya mean no, ya f*kin' mosha? Ah spark ya!
Brian: Go on then...
Chav: Yo Trace! (emerging from Mothercare) Pass us me mob so I can fone ya bruv!
Trace: Why, ya f*kin dick'ed?
Chav: So he can tune diss chav for me!
Trace: Got no credit, yo!
Trace's baby: <crying>
Trace: Shut it ya little fucka!
Brian: No, I don't smoke.
Chav: Wha' ya mean no, ya f*kin' mosha? Ah spark ya!
Brian: Go on then...
Chav: Yo Trace! (emerging from Mothercare) Pass us me mob so I can fone ya bruv!
Trace: Why, ya f*kin dick'ed?
Chav: So he can tune diss chav for me!
Trace: Got no credit, yo!
Trace's baby: <crying>
Trace: Shut it ya little fucka!
by Eenar December 7, 2004
modern name: chav
Ancient name: burberritous wankerous
Poor thieving hobo got nothing better to do that listen to shite music and waste their time talking to other 'chavs'. They like to steal things, phones and wallets particularly, they wear crappy sports brands and tuck their trousers into their socks like a bunch of f*cking idiots. They are a general waste of space and oxygen and I think they should all be boiled in acid, sealed in concrete and dumped in the sea.
Ancient name: burberritous wankerous
Poor thieving hobo got nothing better to do that listen to shite music and waste their time talking to other 'chavs'. They like to steal things, phones and wallets particularly, they wear crappy sports brands and tuck their trousers into their socks like a bunch of f*cking idiots. They are a general waste of space and oxygen and I think they should all be boiled in acid, sealed in concrete and dumped in the sea.
by Shiney McShine November 28, 2003
common phrases:
1.GET UP MA BOI!
2.phat
3.innit mush
4.yeah bruv
5.get in there ma boi!
6.think your hard mush?
7.what you lookin' at grebo!
rough translation into modern english:
1.i am gay
2.that is good within statistical boundaries
3.yes fellow companion
4.i agree with your aspects
5.well done my associate!
6.i am *harder* than you becuase i have an obsurd fashion sense
7.i would prefer not to be stared at by someone who has a goal in life or a job as this reminds me how stupid i look
1.GET UP MA BOI!
2.phat
3.innit mush
4.yeah bruv
5.get in there ma boi!
6.think your hard mush?
7.what you lookin' at grebo!
rough translation into modern english:
1.i am gay
2.that is good within statistical boundaries
3.yes fellow companion
4.i agree with your aspects
5.well done my associate!
6.i am *harder* than you becuase i have an obsurd fashion sense
7.i would prefer not to be stared at by someone who has a goal in life or a job as this reminds me how stupid i look
by Matthew Gallagher May 25, 2005