3 definition by lord loverocket

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an ever-growing population of people mostly from council estates. these are mostly 9-15 year olds who think they are gods gift to the world because they are 14 and already has had a child with their morbidley obese girlfriend who probably gave her boyfriends best mate a blow job for a fruit pastille. their main hangout spots are town centres and street corners where they harrass the elderly and the weak and think that this is cool. to attract the opposite sex, which is called a chavette, they wear far to much fake gold and silver which they most probably stole from a market stall at skegness, and wear baseball caps, fake tracksuits (you will find that these are mostly adidas, nike and TN) and and apply ridiculous amounts of cheap aftershave which has the distinctive smell of cat urine. when they have attracted a mate they will give their mate a gift to help their chances of sleeping with them, this is usually an alcoholic beverage (stella artois and cheap cider are highly common) they will then take them to a mating spot, popular spots are on parks and behind bike sheds at school. after this the female or "chavette" will live benifits for the rest of their life and get a council flat which the tax payers will provide, the chavette will then turn the flat into a hoar house and will bring a different chav home almost every night and will neglect the child, unfortunatly this will most probably result in the baby following in their parents footsteps. the chavs and chavettes have developed their own language due to the species being borderline illiterate and needing to form short words to replace others, e.g "blad" meaning friend, or "yard" meaning house, or in the case of the chavettes, council flat.it is likely that up to 90% of the chav population are unable to spell these simple words from their own slang. the chavs have branched off from their far more intelligent cousins; the football hooligans nearly the entire population of chavs are weak and only have a slight amount of bravery when they are with their fellow kinsmen, it is likely that if you get on of them alone they will threaten to shank you with a knife they pretend to have and then run off to their council flat and cry in fear of their lives until they are re-united with more chavs.
chavette yo blad wanna cum to my yard and ill tug u off 4 a stella?

chav no blad, im goin down the endzz wiv the crew to throw bricks at the old peoples home.
by lord loverocket June 01, 2009

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The act of being pleasured manually by a physically disabled person
Good night last night John?
“Yeah went to that charity doo and ended up getting a cabbage wank behind the buffet table”
by Lord loverocket October 08, 2018

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The art of arranging your 5 favourite porn mags open at your favourite pages into an arc in front of you giving you a 180 degree visual feast to focus on whilst polishing ones trumpet
Sadly becoming more seldom practiced with the advent of on -line rhythm stimulation using tablets and computers
“Can’t wait for the mrs to go out to the bingo later

I’m backing up that much I’m gonna have me a creasant wank “
by Lord loverocket October 09, 2018

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