Skip to main content

mass castrations 

In ancient and medieval times was a common practice the castration of vanquished enemies after the battles. A historian of the Seljuk sultans told a tale in which after a great victory over the the last of the Khwarazmians, the turk Seljuk Key Coubad ordered the testicles or scrotums of thirty thousand defeated army soldiers joined together to produce three hundred tents - a task which apparently occupied the greater part of the army for five whole days, but produced what was described as a memorable memento of the battle!
"These mass castrations were done just after the battles, in order to sell the new eunuchs to the merchants of slaves that usually followed the armies".
mass castrations mug front
Get the mass castrations mug.
See more merch

Mexican Castration 

...can happen as a result of carrying Mexican i.e. sans pistol holster/proper retention device--gun usually tucked into waistband.

Literally: to accidentally blast one's own genitalia off via a negligent discharge of a firearm that is being "carried Mexican."
Mexican castration almost happened to Plaxico Burress when his (.40 S&W) Glock 23 went off and struck him in the thigh at that New York night club because he had his piece tucked into the waistband of his sweatpants. But seriously, despite the fact that he could have shot his own balls off, who wears sweatpants to a nightclub?
Mexican Castration by 3^3=27 September 19, 2009

Crastination 

Undefined use of time, Free time, Vague outcomes, Doodling, Occupying yourself with tasks unrelated to your purpose, Generally wasting time and other fun pursuits. Procrastination is the work that is done to avoid the work that is supposed to be done. AKA, Saturday mornings. See also Crastination and Procrastination.

Historically, The word arises from the experience where a person becomes a Pro at Crastination by spending hours doing very little, or being off track more than one is on track. With the invention of rubber tires, we realized that tracks don't really matter any more so being off track was no longer a culturally shunned experience. Hence, Pro-Crastination was born.
Saturday mornings, you and I engage in crastination by watching TV rather than vacuuming. We become better and better at crastinating and that is procrastination.
Crastination by Yoda-Ninja May 10, 2015

castration fantasy 

To be castrated by the woman who you love and worship, either real or fantasy
castration fantasy is when you dream about or desire or think about the woman you love to loving-ly remove your testicles or to keep them in HER possesion
castration fantasy by viking48 February 28, 2009

pro-crastination 

An intense phenomenon. Not simple or lazy - but characterized by a professional aptitude for semi-productive distraction. (aka: productive-procrastination or professional-procrastination)
Harvard kid: "Did you complete that tech paper for Prof Eshion?"
Bill: "Nope, I got distracted building a software company - I might drop out. You in?"

Lucifer: "Hey, Almighty, did you make that new angel I asked for last week?"
God: "I was distracted ... by Creation."
Lucifer: "Now that's Miltonic pro-crastination. Didn't think that was doable. Look at it - it's huge."

Castration 

Emasculation. Removal of the male sexual organs. Practiced by ancient and barbaric societies where sex was considered highly evil.

Also used in the courts of ancient China to produce eunuchs, castrated male servants who could be trusted to be in close proximity to the Emperor. To be near the Emperor was to be near his harem, so naturally few men were allowed to be in his presence. Eunuchs were considered safe, since they had neither the will nor the ability to "sample the goods" as it were. As a result, eunuchs could gain special leverage with the Emperor, due to their proximity to him, and be appointed to high government offices. Towards the end of the 19th century, some of the most powerful men in the country were eunuchs.
Castration: I'm a take this meat cleaver to yo' nuts, bitch!

oral castration 

The act of using ones mouth to bite/tear off a person's (generally a male's ) genitalia and/or penis thus resulting in immense pain/suffering, and, in some cases, coma or death.
Rick: "Did you hear what Stacy did to John when she found out he was cheating on her?"
James: "No! What happened?"
Rick: "Apparently she was going to give him head but actually gave him an oral castration!"
James: "Dang! That had to hurt!"
oral castration by Chief_Keef July 28, 2014