When you're banging your bitch and when she just about to climax you pull out and yell "I'M GOING TO PUT A CACTUS IN YOUR VAGINA" and then proceed to put a banana up there instead. The surprise is that there's no cactus, there's banana.
Guy: *pulls out, prepares for a Cactus Surprise* "I'M GOING TO PUT A CACTUS IN YOUR VAGINA"
Girl: *screams*
Guy: *puts banana in her instead*
Girl: *screams, but not from pain*
Girl: *screams*
Guy: *puts banana in her instead*
Girl: *screams, but not from pain*
by Rhukebab November 20, 2015
by Qveen Lieah June 25, 2017
by Cheese cactus January 10, 2016
A highly refined weapon developed by zombie-fearing bros: A baseball bat with nails protruding from every angle
by Brobacca May 15, 2011
When dude try n make the shaft look longer than it is by shaving it, but it's all stubbly and feels like u having sex with a cactus.
by Joosy Phroot December 5, 2022
by Yucky Child Charmer February 10, 2020