A terrible physical ailment in which the sufferer continually falls asleep at bars, night after night, weekend after weekend, often resulting in getting asked to leave by the bouncer.
Jayme: What happened to you last night?
Nick: Got kicked out of Mario's, fell asleep in the corner.
Jayme: This is a problem for you isn't it?
Nick: I have barcolepsy
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.
FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"
FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"