ass lapper

To go beyond kissing ass is to become an ass lapper. When one places the entire tongue deep within the crack to gain extra benefits as if they were turd thirsty or trying to seperate the corn from the shit

Ronnie is such an ass lapper that the Lt. thinks his tongue is a wash cloth

by Doug Lpd August 17, 2006

assclapper

Someone so stupid and fat that when they say something, the only sound is the echo of their ass cheeks resonating.

Jimmy is such an idiot -- what an assclapper!

by BelleMere July 24, 2010

assclapper

A person that has the ability to turn on and off their lights with a large clapping fart.

Poor Grandma May is having a hard time keeping her lights on. Her assclapper is not agreeing with the chili.

by Craptronics June 16, 2011

Assclapper

Someone with asscheeks so large, they clap against each other when he/she/they walks.

The Assclapper, by J. Kvndi

I clap my asscheeks when I walk;
Its thunderous sound I cannot conceal.
Yet your insults don’t make me balk.

My great posterior would make Atlas gawk;
Hefty and round like spheres of steel.
I clap my asscheeks when I walk.

You mock me whenever I talk;
Thinking me as smart as a slab of veal.
Yet your insults don’t make me balk.

I’m not a meathead like you mock;
I just have a rear like automobiles.
I clap my asscheeks when I walk.

You call me someone that thinks with my cock;
You decry my friends as misdeals.
Yet your insults don’t make me balk.

I am an asscheek clapping jock,
And no act can make me otherwise feel.
I clap my asscheeks when I walk,
Yet your insults don’t make me balk.

by Sussus Hapus September 23, 2021

Asscapper 3000

A tiny pistol placed in ones asshole as a self protection purcaution.

To use the Asscapper 3000

1. Pull pants down

2. Assume crab position

3. Clap ass cheeks to fire

Haley survived being mugged thanks to the Asscapper 3000

by Spoodz February 6, 2020