archimedes 

He has the sex, unlike all you lame ass weirdos who only have regular sex. Maybe if you got rid of that yee yee ass haircut, you'd get some bitches on your dick

Archimedes is the only one who ever

archimedes by archimedes the great and all k February 5, 2022

Archimedes 

A guy that is hot, and knows how to treat a girl.

Super Awesome! Also, it's the greek guy who invented the Archimedes Screw.

Man my boyfriend is a total dick, i wish he could be like an Archimedes.

Archimedes by Blah ;) May 9, 2010

Archimedes 

a bird that belongs to medic. He likes weed and nesting in open chest cavities. His best friend is pootis and spycrab. He responds to "ARCHIMEDES NO" and sometimes likes to fix daddy's feathers.

Medic:ARCHIMEDES NO
Archimedes:*eats weed*

Archimedes by raybeez February 25, 2022

Archimedes' Principle of Watermelons 

Archimedes' Principle of watermelons states that any watermelon juice which is absorbed by a marshmallow will make the marshmallow heavier and wetter and better tasting.

Modernly made famous by Tom Willett in his tutorial on how to eat a Watermelon.

Bob:"Can you explain Archimedes' Principle of Watermelons to me, Tom Willett?"
Tom:"When you combine a marshmallow and watermelon, and you spoon it around in the juices of watermelon and then you take it out you will notice that the marshmallow has taken on some of the properties of the watermelon; it is more pinkish-redish in appearance, and wetter."
Bob:"Thanks! I finally understand it."

Archimedes' Principle of Watermelons by TheWerepyreKing February 28, 2013

archimedes screw 

A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.

-- or --

When Archimedes has sex with his wife.

-- or --

When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.

-- or --

An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.

In an incredibly archane reference to an ancient invention, a sexual double entendre is achieved.

archimedes screw by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004

Archimedes No! 

A phrase shouted at Archimedes when he is doing something bad like eating weed or nesting in chest cavities

Archimedes:*nesting in heavy*
Medic:Archimedes No!

Archimedes No! by raybeez June 20, 2022

Fountain of Archimedes 

A performance involving the concurrent consumption of beer, and public urination. The performer typically executes this by synchronizing the production of urine with the initiation of a "waterfall" stylistic-drinking manoeuvre, and shall attempt to demonstrate technical artistry by actively controlling the volumetric beer flow-rate in precise response to changes sensed in the urine stream pressure-drop.

Sufficiently skillful execution results in a suspension of disbelief for all observers of the intended suggestion, viz., that the beer is indeed flowing directly between the performer's esophagus and distal urinary meatus, mysteriously circumventing the natural physiological processes which ordinarily conduct such fluid transport operations over a considerably longer time frame.

Observer 1: (Hands a can of beer to the performer)
Performer: (Unseals the can, assumes a customary urination stance and takes out his penis)
Observer 1: "Yea, though the very notion of it be most incredulous, verily I am compelled to inquire: Do you truly mean to void your water, unduly in my presence, bro?"
Observer 2: "I beg to assure you bro, with the entirety of my conviction, that the scene which unfolds before us is not one of capricious folly! But lo, what sport! Indeed, what exquisite fortune! For bro means to gift the lot of us with the hallowed spectacle of a Fountain of Archimedes!"
Performer: (Begins simultaneously pissing and pouring beer from the can into his mouth)
Observer 1: "Good God, bro! But what fantastic machinations must bro be cloistering in his very form, that might afford him the commission of such a prodigious feat? I find myself overcome by titillation, bro, inundating my senses and, yea, my very wit to such a degree that surely I shall have to swoon down upon the earth this very instant if I am to retain any semblance of dignity! And shall I dare to regale my bros in absentia with such unconscionable witness, on pain of being rightly diminished in credibility to that of some crazed, braying beast, its brains having been riven with holes from foraging upon a most devilish specimen of the noxious weeds - ...."
(Everyone else has left)

Fountain of Archimedes by spider kidsz April 24, 2025