Achilles was the best of Greeks and lover of Patroclus. Patroclus was NOT Achilles' cousin. This came about because the director and screenwriters of the movie Troy thought it was too gay to have their macho hero so torn up about the death of his best guy friend that he went on a killing spree. he myth that his mother, the goddess Thetis dipped him in the River Styx came along AFTER the Iliad. Achilles was trained by the centaur Chrion, who also trained heroes like Hercules. He probably met Patroclus sometime during his training and they fell in love like dorks do. However, when they got to Troy they probably had a ton of threesomes, especially with Briseis. The fun ended when Agamenmon took Briseis away because he was a dick. So Achilles refused to fight and sulked in his tent until Patroclus decided that he'd go into battle dressed as Achilles to lift moral. Patroclus was a total badass, and even killed Sarpedon, the son of Zeus before Hector killed him. When Achilles found out his lover had died he refused to eat, drink, or leave the corpse's side until his mother convinced him to take his rage out on everyone. He killed everyone on his way to Hector, including a fucking river god. When he finally killed Hector, he dragged his corpse around the walls of Troy. Now, in the Iliad, he eventually gives the body back to the Trojans and that's the end. His death MAY have been caused by an arrow to the heel, but it's also very likely that it was something else.
Person A: Hey, did you know Achilles was in love with his cousin?
Person B: Actually, Patroclus wasn't his cousin! That was just some bullshit the movie Troy would have you believe because it couldn't handle the gay!
Person B: Actually, Patroclus wasn't his cousin! That was just some bullshit the movie Troy would have you believe because it couldn't handle the gay!
by actualgrantaire August 22, 2015
Get the Achilles mug.Not known to be a true or false. Achilles was a warrior, maybe the greatest that ever lived. It is said that his mother held achilles, when he was a baby, by his ankle and dipped him into the river Styx; everything the sacred river touched became invulnerable but the ankle remained dry and unprotected. It is said that during the war for Troy, Achilles was wounded in his tendon and died from the wound. He was not en evil man, just mislead but it is well known that the city of Troy would not of been taken had Achilles not been involved.
by Oz January 17, 2005
Get the achilles mug.he was this really pretty dude with long golden shiny hair, killer cheek-bones, long eyelashes and could totally slay a dress. he was such a twink that you wouldn't be able to make him out in a group of girls. and he had this cool boyfriend called patroclus who was killed by hector.
A: hey didn't Achilles kill Hector and drag his body around the gates of Troy?
B: you can't blame him. I'd be pretty mad as well if 10 years of heterosexual nonsense killed my boyfriend.
B: you can't blame him. I'd be pretty mad as well if 10 years of heterosexual nonsense killed my boyfriend.
by ciggarhoe January 15, 2022
Get the Achilles mug.Achilles is very yummy and muscular all the girls love him he is a very handsom young boy with a big dick
Achilles is mad hot
by Yes yes yes no November 23, 2021
Get the Achilles mug.an achilles is anyone who is a true fighter, someone who is always couragous no matter what the odds. an achilles will stick up for his mate in any fight and defend what is right with all his strength and skill. An achilles is also able to lead people like a hero.
that guy is such an achilles, he just fought off three bikers who stole his lady's handbag. he kicked there sorry asses!
by filthy gee April 8, 2006
Get the achilles mug.Achilles is a person you can always trust, they’re loving and often extremely funny. If you’ve ever met one, you’ll know that Achilles can make anyone laugh, and is a delight to be around. Despite all this, Achilles probably has depression, anxiety or some other underlying shit, cause although they make people happy, they can’t seem to figure out how to make themselves happy.
Achilles is often a huge nerd, and knows a lot about weird stuff, but mostly thinks Greek mythology is pretty epic and has probably picked the name for themselves cause of the old Greek myth. Unless they took the name from the movie Troy, Achilles is great :)
Oh and like 99% of the cases they’re gay or trans
Achilles is often a huge nerd, and knows a lot about weird stuff, but mostly thinks Greek mythology is pretty epic and has probably picked the name for themselves cause of the old Greek myth. Unless they took the name from the movie Troy, Achilles is great :)
Oh and like 99% of the cases they’re gay or trans
by Solace_ January 4, 2022
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