Achilles was the best of Greeks and lover of Patroclus. Patroclus was NOT Achilles' cousin. This came about because the director and screenwriters of the movie Troy thought it was too gay to have their macho hero so torn up about the death of his best guy friend that he went on a killing spree. he myth that his mother, the goddess Thetis dipped him in the River Styx came along AFTER the Iliad. Achilles was trained by the centaur Chrion, who also trained heroes like Hercules. He probably met Patroclus sometime during his training and they fell in love like dorks do. However, when they got to Troy they probably had a ton of threesomes, especially with Briseis. The fun ended when Agamenmon took Briseis away because he was a dick. So Achilles refused to fight and sulked in his tent until Patroclus decided that he'd go into battle dressed as Achilles to lift moral. Patroclus was a total badass, and even killed Sarpedon, the son of Zeus before Hector killed him. When Achilles found out his lover had died he refused to eat, drink, or leave the corpse's side until his mother convinced him to take his rage out on everyone. He killed everyone on his way to Hector, including a fucking river god. When he finally killed Hector, he dragged his corpse around the walls of Troy. Now, in the Iliad, he eventually gives the body back to the Trojans and that's the end. His death MAY have been caused by an arrow to the heel, but it's also very likely that it was something else.
Person A: Hey, did you know Achilles was in love with his cousin?

Person B: Actually, Patroclus wasn't his cousin! That was just some bullshit the movie Troy would have you believe because it couldn't handle the gay!
by actualgrantaire July 25, 2015
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Achilles was a Greek warrior in the Trojan war. He liked to have gay anal sex with his cousin, Patroclus. This means that Achilles was not only one of the first gays, but also history's first redneck. One day, Hector, some Trojan dude, killed Patroclus. Achilles was pissed off and challenged Hector to a duel. In the duel, Hector slipped on one of Achilles' tubes of anal lube and got a concussion and died. Achilled then tied Hector dead body to the back of his chariot and rode it around the city of Troy and back to the Greek camp, where he had violent homosexual sex with it. As you could imagine, Achilles liked 'em messy. Anyway, a few years later, Troy had this foreign exchange student from Ethiopia named Memnon. Achilles killed Memnon because he was racist and was actually the first person ever to say the n-word. A while later, Achilles was shot by this guy Paris in a manner similar to how Lawrence King was murdered in California. The Day of Silence 1200 BC was dedicated in his honor.
Achilles was definately a raging homosexual

What kind of bitch dies from getting shot in the heel?

Hector would kick the shit out of Achilles, the only reason Achilles won was because Hector felt bad for hitting a homo
by Konages April 11, 2009
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An online game where one plays as a Spartan character and destroys tribal enemies. Initially initiated by Rohan Basu from Activision, it now belongs to Lycos and is spread across many online game sites momentarily.
P1: Dude have you played Achilles
P2: ....
P1: Yeah it's an online game where you just decapitate people and stuff.
by AnAznClown November 24, 2009
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Achilles lives in troy who defeated telephus in the Trojan war who is from Olympia. Troy, al is a b and Olympia, WA is an a- on reference to Greek mythology.
Achilles was defeated by Alexander.
by bushlight December 21, 2017
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The ability to chill.
This party is gonna be off the chain. That new guy you invited... Marco, is it? Does he have the achillity?

Of course he does.
by exodusprime April 25, 2013
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Not known to be a true or false. Achilles was a warrior, maybe the greatest that ever lived. It is said that his mother held achilles, when he was a baby, by his ankle and dipped him into the river Styx; everything the sacred river touched became invulnerable but the ankle remained dry and unprotected. It is said that during the war for Troy, Achilles was wounded in his tendon and died from the wound. He was not en evil man, just mislead but it is well known that the city of Troy would not of been taken had Achilles not been involved.
The achilles tendon is named after achilles, the greatest warrior ever.
by Oz January 18, 2005
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