Achilles was the best of Greeks and lover of Patroclus. Patroclus was NOT Achilles' cousin. This came about because the director and screenwriters of the movie Troy thought it was too gay to have their macho hero so torn up about the death of his best guy friend that he went on a killing spree. he myth that his mother, the goddess Thetis dipped him in the River Styx came along AFTER the Iliad. Achilles was trained by the centaur Chrion, who also trained heroes like Hercules. He probably met Patroclus sometime during his training and they fell in love like dorks do. However, when they got to Troy they probably had a ton of threesomes, especially with Briseis. The fun ended when Agamenmon took Briseis away because he was a dick. So Achilles refused to fight and sulked in his tent until Patroclus decided that he'd go into battle dressed as Achilles to lift moral. Patroclus was a total badass, and even killed Sarpedon, the son of Zeus before Hector killed him. When Achilles found out his lover had died he refused to eat, drink, or leave the corpse's side until his mother convinced him to take his rage out on everyone. He killed everyone on his way to Hector, including a fucking river god. When he finally killed Hector, he dragged his corpse around the walls of Troy. Now, in the Iliad, he eventually gives the body back to the Trojans and that's the end. His death MAY have been caused by an arrow to the heel, but it's also very likely that it was something else.
Person A: Hey, did you know Achilles was in love with his cousin?

Person B: Actually, Patroclus wasn't his cousin! That was just some bullshit the movie Troy would have you believe because it couldn't handle the gay!
by actualgrantaire July 25, 2015
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he was this really pretty dude with long golden shiny hair, killer cheek-bones, long eyelashes and could totally slay a dress. he was such a twink that you wouldn't be able to make him out in a group of girls. and he had this cool boyfriend called patroclus who was killed by hector.
A: hey didn't Achilles kill Hector and drag his body around the gates of Troy?

B: you can't blame him. I'd be pretty mad as well if 10 years of heterosexual nonsense killed my boyfriend.
by ciggarhoe January 16, 2022
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Achilles is a person you can always trust, they’re loving and often extremely funny. If you’ve ever met one, you’ll know that Achilles can make anyone laugh, and is a delight to be around. Despite all this, Achilles probably has depression, anxiety or some other underlying shit, cause although they make people happy, they can’t seem to figure out how to make themselves happy.

Achilles is often a huge nerd, and knows a lot about weird stuff, but mostly thinks Greek mythology is pretty epic and has probably picked the name for themselves cause of the old Greek myth. Unless they took the name from the movie Troy, Achilles is great :)
Oh and like 99% of the cases they’re gay or trans
Person A: hey, is that Achilles?
Person B: yeah I heard they’re really fun to be around!
by Solace_ January 5, 2022
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Achilles was a Greek warrior in the Trojan war. He liked to have gay anal sex with his cousin, Patroclus. This means that Achilles was not only one of the first gays, but also history's first redneck. One day, Hector, some Trojan dude, killed Patroclus. Achilles was pissed off and challenged Hector to a duel. In the duel, Hector slipped on one of Achilles' tubes of anal lube and got a concussion and died. Achilled then tied Hector dead body to the back of his chariot and rode it around the city of Troy and back to the Greek camp, where he had violent homosexual sex with it. As you could imagine, Achilles liked 'em messy. Anyway, a few years later, Troy had this foreign exchange student from Ethiopia named Memnon. Achilles killed Memnon because he was racist and was actually the first person ever to say the n-word. A while later, Achilles was shot by this guy Paris in a manner similar to how Lawrence King was murdered in California. The Day of Silence 1200 BC was dedicated in his honor.
Achilles was definately a raging homosexual

What kind of bitch dies from getting shot in the heel?

Hector would kick the shit out of Achilles, the only reason Achilles won was because Hector felt bad for hitting a homo
by Konages April 11, 2009
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Achilles is very yummy and muscular all the girls love him he is a very handsom young boy with a big dick
Achilles is mad hot
by Yes yes yes no November 23, 2021
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The most amazing boy you will ever meet 💙 and if you have one hold him close
That boy Achilles i love him
by Skybear22 January 25, 2022
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