Winter Haven

1) The place where the elderly go to die....but only after they drive slowly in the left lane in their obnoxiously large, white, American cars.

2) A city in Florida with an ass ton of inconveniently placed lakes.

3) Downtown Orlampa.

4) Snowbird central.

Person 1: Dammit! Why is this person in a Grand Marquis driving in the left lane 20 mph under the speed limit parallel to this guy in the Crown Victoria?!?!

Person 2: Because they're old, senile, and about to die. But I guess you'd drive slowly too if you couldn't see over the steering wheel...


Person 1: Wait...why the hell does Winter Haven have more lakes than Lakeland?

Person 2: Good question...


Person 1: Should we go to Warped Tour in Orlando or Tampa?

Person 2: Both!! Hells yeah for living in Orlampa!


Person 1: Why is everything so crowded all of a sudden??

Person 2: The snowbirds have migrated... They need to GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by bubblemuffin August 1, 2008

Winter Haven

A city in Central Florida almost directly between Tampa and Orlando! Not much to do but sit in a parking lot and BS with friends, drink at house parties (that you're not allowed inside for), and hang out on the lakes. It is the location of Cypress Gardens Adventure Park. Beware of the ALLIGATORS! They're everywhere!

My friends and I live in Winter Haven where we have nothing better to do than waist time doing nothing.

by *Scotty* August 11, 2008

Winter Haven

Probably the strangest place on Earth. Populated by the ugliest and ignorant people.

I went to the Wal-Mart in Winter Haven and I saw two women that weighed 675 lbs, had two teeth and were wearing bikinis!

by mommytails June 17, 2008

If you ask out your crush after winter break they do not have to say yes because everyone has a choice and you are an ignorant piece of shit

To whom ever made the rule that you have to say yes , this was made specifically made for you

If you ask out your crush after winter break they do not have to say yes because everyone has a choice and you are an ignorant piece of shit Because we are allowed to say no

by Not on your hoe shit December 22, 2019

winterhaven girls

girls that are so sheltered they refuse to do anything other than hold hands

Person 1: Dude have you guys kissed yet?
Person 2: Nah my girlfriend is one of those winterhaven girls

by oatmealftw February 14, 2012

Winterhaven

the ausomest nerdy school in all of SE Portland....

Where all nerds join in for one nerd fest...

Look, at that winterhaven... actually doing his work!

by car__man__will April 3, 2009