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That's what I told my first wife. 

Much like the popular phrase "that's what she said", "that's what I told my first wife" can apply to male only references. The first known use was by Michael Thor Lengies Sept. 2012.
Perfect set ups:
"It's doesn't get any harder than this." "That's what I told my first wife."

Sarcastic:
"I always wear condoms." "That's what I told my first wife."

Out of no where:
"I've got a date at 9:00." "That's what I told my first wife."

Self degrading humor:
"I'm just not a one woman man." "Yeah, that's what I told my first wife."

Thats what he said, Thats what she said, Inuendo, Sexual,

legally blonde and his skunk head wife and there home alone looking receding line twerp of a son that cries himself to sleep and still wets the bed 

Lucius, narcissa, and draco malfoy
I hate legally blonde and his skunk head wife and there home alone looking receding line twerp of a son that cries himself to sleep and still wets the bed.

National thats your wife but I’m fuckin her day 

When you married to a bitch but every year somebody else got have sex with her.
I know that your wife but I gotta clap her cheeks for national thats your wife but I’m fuckin her day.

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.
"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."
eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016