Utica Aftershave 

When someone emits a combination of strong unpleasant odors it can be said that they are wearing Utica aftershave. While these unpleasant odors can vary from person to person, there are chief odors that remain consistent: stale or wet tobacco, alcohol, body odors such as flatulents and sweat and dirty clothes are often trademarks of the "Utica aftershave" aroma. Despite its overt references to the pejoritave, the term often implies fraternal bonding and serves as a reflection of irony all Uticans possess. Utica is often lambasted as the most undesirable city in New York state, and Uticans who are well aware of their inferior status have learned to turn the art of self-deprecation into a form of indirect pride (when they put themselves down it is as if they are saying, "We know we are a sorry lot, but if we excel at anything it's at being a sorry lot").

friend #1: Man, I'm ready to go find some chicks today.
friend #2: Yeah, I can tell you're ready for some action. You got your new shoes on and you're wearing that Utica aftershave.
friend #2: Man, screw you!
friend #1: Dang! You stink.
friend #2: Man, screw you!

friend #1: Man, I stink today. I'm wearing my Utica aftershave.
friend #2: Me too. I didn't wear deodorant so I guess I'm wearing Utica aftershave too.
friend #1: We should distill this odor somehow and market it as Utica aftershave. I bet we could make a million dollars.
friend #2: They would have to sell it in the bad hygiene department.

Utica Aftershave by Jamallerian October 13, 2007