A rip (not to be confused with rip-off) is a slang term which can refer to anything comical, hypocritical, or embarrassing in nature. The term grew popular in Northern California in the early 2000s and eventually became common Norcal schoolyard slang along with hella, hecka, and the term Norcal itself. Its usage is commonly accompanied with a rough "stripping" motion on the back of one's neck, as if removing the tag on his/her shirt. Its usage continues to grow around the region's schools.
Kel: "I know the names of everybody in the room."
Joe: "Well then, what is his name?"
Kel: "I don't know."
Joe: "That's a rip." *strips the back of Kel's neck*
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.