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Taking My Talents to South Beach 

Taking a huge dump. Named after the infamous LeBron signing scandal, a person who takes his talents to South Beach is taking a shit. See: Dropping the kids off at the pool.
Hey Johnny, can you watch my desk? I'm going to be taking my talents to South Beach.

taking my talents to south beach 

A euphemism for masturbation, made popular by LeBron James during his "The Decision" (also called the LeBronocalypse) television special.
The NBA is so unbearable I'll be taking my talents to south beach this fall instead of watching any games.

Taking my talents to South Beach 

Masturbation. Explanation:

When you realized you're not going to get sex, you go home and masturbate. Likewise, when you realize you really aren't the best basketball player of all time, and you don't like cold cities, you "take your talents to South Beach".
Hey Bob, you get lucky at the club?

Bob: Nope, imma go upstairs. I'll be taking my talents to South Beach.

Taking my talents to South Beach 

1: Masterbation; self-gratifying sexual act

2: F*ck you Cleveland
Ray: Hey dude you wanna hang out tonight, watch the Cavs?

Chris: No, I'm taking my talents to South Beach, sorry bro

Taking my talents to South Beach 

1. Masturbating
2. (lesser known) Deciding to betray one's family and hometown.
Dude, I struck out at the bar, so it looks like I'm going to be taking my talents to South Beach tonight...

Taking my talents to South Beach 

A figurative "cleveland steamer" as performed by LeBron James...on Cleveland. The resulting malodorous mess in Cleveland had a record reminiscent of the Washington Generals'.
I'm burning my home and taking my talents to South Beach.