To really pound a girl in the paints. When a girl grows out hair on her pubic region it looks like a little wig. So if she is lucky, she might get itsplit.
Girl if you keep acting like that I'm going to take you in the back and "Split your Wig".
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.