Solitary bedcrumbing 

The act of sitting on the end of a bed in a budget hotel chain consuming a low cost self-made meal from a corner shop whilst away alone on business. Eaten in a partial state of undress, due to an aborted attempt of getting changed after work, the meal, usually consisting of a loaf of bread and some processed cheese prepared by hand with no utensils, can be washed down with a bottle screw-cap wine whilst watching television followed by a savoury dessert, usually a whole tube of Pringles. After waking depressed in the morning, surrounded by food wrappers, food crumbs need brushing from your bed/face/body.

IT Contractor: This is so depressing, I could be out looking for a dubious lady (see pea-wet ), and this bread is stale.

TV: In news today, a missing cat reappeared after 30 days…

IT Contractor: Man, I’ve hit a low, and there are crumbs everywhere.

Next day:

Colleague: Good evening last night?

IT Contractor: Yeah, went out for a few drinks and made some new friends

IT Contactor (to self): Oh man, I was solitary bedcrumbing but can’t even admit it to myself, let alone anyone else.

Solitary bedcrumbing by yourmaninthenorth September 4, 2009