Shalchemist 

Someone who has the ability to turn anything into shit. Much the same way an alchemist has the ability to turn things into gold.

that George W Bush was a shalchemist over his handling of Afghanistan

Shalchemist by Jumpingjackflash_70 February 28, 2011

snalchemist 

Snack Alchemist. A person who invents new, creative yet tasty, snack combinations.

"My girlfriend is the best snalchemist you'll ever meet, she made tuna fish and scoops taste good"

snalchemist by yungbronchitis April 11, 2023