Skip to main content

scissor me timbers 

A phrase used in a south park episode where Mr. or Ms. Garrison explored being a lesbian. Garrison was in bed with another woman "scissoring" (in which two women inter-lock each others legs for sexual arrousal). it is at this time that Garrison becomes excited and says "Oh yeah scissor me timbers!!!".
Lesbian: "I haven't gotten a piece of ass in a while I really wish somebody would scissor me timbers."
scissor me timbers mug front
Get the scissor me timbers mug.
See more merch

Scissor me timbers 

A variation of "shiver me timbers," a common pirating term, screamed by women during lesbian lovemaking. The term refers to their interlocking legs, which are often spread at an angle similar to open scissors.
"How does this double headed dildo feel, lesbian lover?"

"Scissor me timbers!"

scissor me timbers 

referring to the sexual postion for lesbains"scissoring"

scissor me timber

The act of two females scissoring while a male is underneath with his penis up between their vagina's.
I caught an early flight home and walked in on my wife scissoring some chick, to which I replied "Hmmmm... Perhaps this would be a good time to scissor me timber!"
scissor me timber by Ssylar October 27, 2008

Scissor Me Timber

1. A phrase known as an activity of sexual satisfaction amongst an assemblage of lady pirates.

2. The female attempt to dismember a man's penis from his body by utilizing the unyielding strength of her labial lips.

i.e. Sever Me Timbers
Lady Pirates? Scissor me timbers? Get it?

ARRRGH! As she wrapped her legs about his torso with the force of one-thousand seahorse, her lips opened like the fearsome kraken to disarm the man of his weary vessel. "Scissor me timber," he shouted in vain, "if I weren't still coming I would feel wretched pain!"

bang a you-ee 

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"
hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026
The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.
"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"
Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013
Word of the Day on July 18, 2026