A below average penis, with one exception. If the schmeat is attached to a Knowlsey it refers to a penis so huge it changes the atmospheric pressure of any room it's in.

I can barely breathe with Knowlsey's schmeat in here

by Captaindownloadboner June 15, 2019

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Schmeat is the result of the marriage between the German Surname SCHMITT and the English word MEAT. It is a dick joke of Western Pennsylvanian origins, though its usage has flourished in recent years, especially among the Asian-American motion graphics animator population. In fact, its usage as a euphemism has become antiquated and archaic. Schmeat has actually evolved in to one of those rare catch all words on par with "fuck". Its versatility makes it the appropriate substitute for almost any part of speech.

"I'm gonna take a Schmeat!"

"Uh....Schmeat!"

"Schmeat!!!!"

by TheRealSchmeat January 8, 2009

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Schmeat

A small, yet not tiny penis (usually 3 inches or less) *Not to be confused with shmeat

Girl 1: "girl, big news...or little news that is"
Girl 2: "Omg, what is it"
Girl 1: "Johnny and I had sex last night, but its not as exciting as you think. Johhny has a schmeat"
Girl 2: "Well at least that makes me feel blessed that David is average"

by howlongcantheasebe? April 30, 2015

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