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A small, yet not tiny penis (usually 3 inches or less) *Not to be confused with shmeat
Girl 1: "girl, big news...or little news that is"
Girl 2: "Omg, what is it"
Girl 1: "Johnny and I had sex last night, but its not as exciting as you think. Johhny has a schmeat"
Girl 2: "Well at least that makes me feel blessed that David is average"
by howlongcantheasebe? April 30, 2015
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a person who has a small penis

it is the opposite to schlong.
"Yo Gonzo has a schmeat"
"No man I heard Carlos had a schmeat, his girlfriend told me"
by EjaculatoryAid May 17, 2015
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Schmeat is the result of the marriage between the German Surname SCHMITT and the English word MEAT. It is a dick joke of Western Pennsylvanian origins, though its usage has flourished in recent years, especially among the Asian-American motion graphics animator population. In fact, its usage as a euphemism has become antiquated and archaic. Schmeat has actually evolved in to one of those rare catch all words on par with "fuck". Its versatility makes it the appropriate substitute for almost any part of speech.
"I'm gonna take a Schmeat!"



by TheRealSchmeat January 08, 2009
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Schmeat is faux meat from soy or gluten sources. Soy meats include veggie versions of beef, pork, chicken and turkey.
I made a pizza with pepperoni schmeat. I can make a club sandwich exclusively from schmeats: veggie ham, veggie turkey, veggie bacon and veggie salami topped with soy cheese!
by nycisme February 02, 2014
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Combination of "shit" and "meat"

Meat that is grown from lab tissue in a petri dish.
Mmmm PETA loves those schmeat burgers.
by kam_ March 18, 2009
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Schmeat roughly stands for "Cooler than sweet; better than fake meat."

It is used similar to sweet, but is used when something needs a higher complement than sweet/and or fake meat.
That awesome shit that just happened was fucking schmeat.

"Hey man, I just won tickets to see your favorite band, and you here's the fifty bucks I owe you plus a shitload of interest."
(in response) -Schmeat.
by michael sheely September 28, 2004
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