noun
A deceptively fancy-sounding cocktail that promises elegance but tastes like regret in stilettos. Ingredients include 1 oz Andre sparkling wine, half a mini bottle of motel tequila, a splash of cranberry juice stolen from someone else’s drink, and a melted ice cube from last night’s cooler. Served in a champagne flute… or an ashtray, dealer’s choice.
Optional garnish: An “I Love Texas” straw with cheap red lipstick on it.
Typically ordered loudly, at an inappropriate time, while slurring something about “how things used to be.”
A deceptively fancy-sounding cocktail that promises elegance but tastes like regret in stilettos. Ingredients include 1 oz Andre sparkling wine, half a mini bottle of motel tequila, a splash of cranberry juice stolen from someone else’s drink, and a melted ice cube from last night’s cooler. Served in a champagne flute… or an ashtray, dealer’s choice.
Optional garnish: An “I Love Texas” straw with cheap red lipstick on it.
Typically ordered loudly, at an inappropriate time, while slurring something about “how things used to be.”
“She kicked off the day as usual, with three Sara Royales and a story about how she used to be an athlete in High School—it was 10 a.m.”
by Loveconquersall777 June 14, 2025