Resistentialism

Resistentialism is a humorous theory to describe "seemingly spiteful behavior manifested by inanimate objects." In other words, a war is being fought between humans and inanimate objects, and all the little annoyances objects give people throughout the day are battles between the two.

The term was coined by humorist Paul Jennings in a piece titled "Report on Resistentialism", published in The Spectator in 1948 and reprinted in The New York Times.

The slogan of Resistentialism is "Les choses sont contre nous" -- "Things are against us"

Cases of Resistentialism:

Missing car keys: they have moved of their own accord and by means quite unobservable in order to spite you... Resistentialism!

When a bouncy ball escapes down the road: it may seem innocent but the ball knows all too well that the centre of the spectacle is that poor chap grasping helplessly in its wake... Resistentialism!

Be on the watch my fellow humans!

Resistentialism by Crescentpics May 30, 2011

resistentialism

The seemingly obstinate behavior on the part of inanimate objects

When the computer refused to power up, even though it had worked just fine 10 minutes ago and he knew nothing had changed, he chalked it up to a bad case of resistentialism.

resistentialism by ray tuley May 23, 2007

Resistentialism

The seemingly spiteful behavior manifested by inanimate objects.

A great example of Resistentialism:

"Christ, the dumb insolence of inanimate objects! He could never understand what was 'in it' for inanimate objects, behaving as they did. What was 'in it' for the doorknob that hooked your jacket as you passed? What was 'in it' for the jacket pocket?" --Martin Amis, "The Information

Resistentialism by Craic Shack March 26, 2006

jerb 

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022