Rejection Day
February 13th. February 14th, or Valentine's Day, is of course the perfect day for everyone with a sweetheart. So the day before is basically the day people make a last ditch effort to start scrambling for a rebound or when desperate a butterface but end up getting turned down by the same chicks who believe they deserve better but don't have shit, not fucking shit, not motherfucking shit to offer back. You don't win on Rejection Day.
Kyle: Everyone's talking about how great tomorrow's gonna be because they get to spend it doing romantic stuff like cuddling and watching movies and eating candlelit dinner. Maybe I'll go find a girl so I don't feel left out.
Jake: Dude, you'll end up with some chick that just broke up with another guy or a girl with the best body with a horrible face, besides either way you'll get turned down. You can't win.
Kyle: Just watch me. *goes to a bar and sees some random blonde* Hey, you look gorgeous. Maybe we could hook up?
Random Blonde: I just broke up with some douchebag, I'm not ready for another relationship because I feel like I deserve better than a guy who brought me roses and chocolate while I was in the hospital after surgery, leaving him to pay all the bills and cook dinner.
Kyle: Oh... Right. Take care. *walks away and sees a chick from behind, noting her beautiful body* Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice...*girl turns around, revealing the most inhuman face known to man* ...OH GOD. *temporary blindness from her ugly face*
Butterface Girl: Hi, I'm Stacy. If you're looking for me to be your girlfriend I'm sorry, but no.
Kyle: I'm just gonna go curl up and cry now. *goes back to Jake*
Jake: What did I tell you? You can never win on Rejection Day.
Kyle: *sobs* DAMN YOU, Rejection Day!
Jake: Dude, you'll end up with some chick that just broke up with another guy or a girl with the best body with a horrible face, besides either way you'll get turned down. You can't win.
Kyle: Just watch me. *goes to a bar and sees some random blonde* Hey, you look gorgeous. Maybe we could hook up?
Random Blonde: I just broke up with some douchebag, I'm not ready for another relationship because I feel like I deserve better than a guy who brought me roses and chocolate while I was in the hospital after surgery, leaving him to pay all the bills and cook dinner.
Kyle: Oh... Right. Take care. *walks away and sees a chick from behind, noting her beautiful body* Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice...*girl turns around, revealing the most inhuman face known to man* ...OH GOD. *temporary blindness from her ugly face*
Butterface Girl: Hi, I'm Stacy. If you're looking for me to be your girlfriend I'm sorry, but no.
Kyle: I'm just gonna go curl up and cry now. *goes back to Jake*
Jake: What did I tell you? You can never win on Rejection Day.
Kyle: *sobs* DAMN YOU, Rejection Day!
Rejection Day by TwoKings March 1, 2014
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