popping a cork
popping a cork by BleedDemon July 8, 2016
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Popping a cork
This happens after you have been constipated from a piece of stool that backs up your bowels, causing bad enough bloating that you end up getting severe intestinal pain, often in the middle of the night.
When that piece finally gets passed, usually after several minutes of straining, groaning, and wincing, everything it was backing up immediately comes out as diarrhea, causing your ass to imitate popping the cork on a bottle of champagne. Ironically, shaking your intestines, whether with your hands or making your legs shake up and down, can assist, in the same way you can shake up champagne to make the cork pop out.
When that piece finally gets passed, usually after several minutes of straining, groaning, and wincing, everything it was backing up immediately comes out as diarrhea, causing your ass to imitate popping the cork on a bottle of champagne. Ironically, shaking your intestines, whether with your hands or making your legs shake up and down, can assist, in the same way you can shake up champagne to make the cork pop out.
Joe: Ugh, man I shouldn't have eaten that grilled five-cheese, wings, and beer at the pub this weekend. I woke up last night feeling like my gut had a knife in it. Took like twenty minutes on the toilet before I finally ended up popping a cork.
Dave: You think that's bad? Last time I popped a cork, I'd had an egg salad sandwich for lunch. I had to sit there with Egg farts the whole time. I nearly puked.
Dave: You think that's bad? Last time I popped a cork, I'd had an egg salad sandwich for lunch. I had to sit there with Egg farts the whole time. I nearly puked.
Popping a cork by Derp Contractor April 23, 2018