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Pistol Pedicure

(nounl

Also: Pistol-pedicure, Pistolpedicure

Definition:
When someone spectacularly sabotages themselves while trying to look clever, confident, or in control. The spiritual cousin of “shooting yourself in the foot,” but with added flair, delusion, and gunpowder residue.

Etymology:
Born from the unholy marriage of self-inflicted wounds and personal grooming, because if you’re going to destroy your own credibility, at least make it fashionable.

Usage Notes:
Common among politicians, influencers, and anyone who begins a sentence with “I’m not racist, but—”.

See also:
Self-scorch, ego exfoliation, career colonic, verbal ricochet.
“Jeff tried to impress his boss by explaining how he would run the company better. Now he’s unemployed and his team threw him a going-away gift card to the unemployment office. Classic Pistol Pedicure.”
by APedant October 18, 2025
mugGet the Pistol Pedicuremug.

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