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Piccolo Trumpet 

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The worlds most awesome instrument, only instrument better than the trumpet. You can't get higher than a piccolo trumpet, this beast of an instrument makes flutes jealous. This instrument is the loudest instrument which shows the Dominance that all trumpet players have! Whenever we get dissed, we get it you're hella jealous of our bossness.
Hey, why can't you come into work today?
I have to show the ladies how cool I am in band.
Oh really? What instrument do you play?
Piccolo Trumpet.
Oh shit dude, I didn't know you were a literal god.
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piccolo trumpet 

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1) A trumpet tuned an octave above the normal B flat trumpet's range. Has 1/2 the tubing of a normal trumpet and a fourth valve.
2) The only instrument more awesome than the trumpet; not to be confused with the piccolo, the only instrument harder to tune and shriller than the flute.
Paul McCartney: Bollocks! Penny Lane has so much potential, but it needs something....
-hears piccolo trumpet playing Bach-
McCartney: I've got it!

Trumpet player: I wish I could play the piccolo trumpet, but I am not worthy of it's awesomeness.
Piccolo player: You could play piccolo instead!
Trumpet player: You could play piccolo well.
-Piccolo player bludgeons Trumpet player to death with her piccolo-
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