The bittersweet gastrointestinal aftermath of a glorious Papa John’s-fueled gathering with friends after a full day of excessive libations. Characterized by euphoric garlic sauce bonding, communal declarations of love, and next-morning regret punctuated by violent, flaming hot gas and a bowel movement so regrettable it deserves its own apology text chain.
Last night was peak—Jeremy brought Guinness, Dan double-fisted Lonely Heart, Lauren practically drank the garlic sauce, Jenna was crying from laughter, and Russ and Jessica made out to a Papa John’s jingle—but now I’ve got a serious case of Papa-Butt. Please send Tums. And prayers.
by AMPM91 May 26, 2025