A man--usually over 50, but not always--who thinks he knows everything, and loves to talk at length about anything. It is futile to try to interrupt or correct him. While he claims to know everything, he is unable to take care of himself--can't cook a meal, has to ask his wife his underwear or shoe size, doesn't know how to clean a toilet or operate a washing machine.
Dad is such an old man baby! At dinner last night he spent 20 minutes expounding on the virtues of investing in silver, then when it was time for dessert he had to ask mom which kind of ice cream he liked.
When one person squats over another person's face and defecates (takes a dump) on their forehead. This often occurs during a sexual encounter, but it does not have to.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'