holy crap....ok.... New Caanan is a place where black people fear to tread and the middle school kids get arrested every friday afternoon. the police are nazis and outsiders fear those that dwell inside. it is a scary place that only those that call it home could possibly live inside of it. it's a massive town and i dont think there could be a map of the place cause every time i look around it seems to be engulfing wilton and norwalk.
HEY! You look semi-suspicious...i think a full body cavity search is in order....welcome to new caanan, BITCH
by Rowayton_r_us November 8, 2005
Get the New Caanan mug.New Canaan is a small town about 45 min. outside NYC that is located in Fairfield County. An even ritzier lifestyle then that of the OC, people in NC are classy and of course preppy. Most likely if you live here, your family owns more then one house, has a variety of luxury vehicles to choose from and one or more of your parents commutes to NYC by train or limo. Parents make loads of money, participate in cocktail parties, play tennis and cart around their younger kids to soccer practice and such. Teenagers have nothing better to do then spend their parents money on expensive clothes, drugs and alcohol, so it's no surprise it has the highest rate of underage drinking in the country. However, they still manage to take home state championships in sports such as soccer, lacrosse and hockey and eventually go off to the Ivy Leagues. While you reside in New Canaan, there are a couple things to remember. It is Beirut, NOT "beer pong". Do not be surprised to see parents participating in drinking events right next to their kids. If the town seems deserted in the summer, you can take a short plane ride to Nantucket and discover most of New Canaan there. D-Baggers can at times be fun to party with, but at ANY sports event must always be considered the enemy. Pop your collar. And finally, don't be alarmed if kids between the ages of 12 and...well, up, closely fit the description of an alcoholic.
by Prep March 31, 2005
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You know you live in New Canaan when...
You can’t walk around any of the schools without seeing at least 3 Rugby shirts
Everyone even the guys know all the names of the people from the OC
Your next door neighbor gets arrested for dealing cocaine
You’re scared to go to Norwalk because you think you going to get shot
The only time you would ever think of going to the Bronx is to go to the Bronx Zoo
Starbucks coffee is inexpensive to you
Even some of the guys wear some from of Ugg shoes
A Rams bumper sticker is plastered on every Land Rover
You still think its summer so you wear flip flops in December
Sports are not a game its life
When you turn 16 you want a Land Rover and you expect to get one
Birkenstocks aren’t for old people they’re for the teenagers
When you talk about the moose the only thing you relate it to is Abercrombie
When you can’t count the number of Hummers, Porsches, and Land Rovers in the streets on one hand
Half the people aren’t who they really are
Even though every mom is blonde and big boobed, you know it's all fake
Perfection isn’t expected its reality
A 12 year old could pass for a 21 year old and get alcohol
The police are always showing up at the school for stupid small crimes created by the students
When almost half of the population hates living here
But we are still able to look like rich and perfect people
screw that
none of it's true
You can’t walk around any of the schools without seeing at least 3 Rugby shirts
Everyone even the guys know all the names of the people from the OC
Your next door neighbor gets arrested for dealing cocaine
You’re scared to go to Norwalk because you think you going to get shot
The only time you would ever think of going to the Bronx is to go to the Bronx Zoo
Starbucks coffee is inexpensive to you
Even some of the guys wear some from of Ugg shoes
A Rams bumper sticker is plastered on every Land Rover
You still think its summer so you wear flip flops in December
Sports are not a game its life
When you turn 16 you want a Land Rover and you expect to get one
Birkenstocks aren’t for old people they’re for the teenagers
When you talk about the moose the only thing you relate it to is Abercrombie
When you can’t count the number of Hummers, Porsches, and Land Rovers in the streets on one hand
Half the people aren’t who they really are
Even though every mom is blonde and big boobed, you know it's all fake
Perfection isn’t expected its reality
A 12 year old could pass for a 21 year old and get alcohol
The police are always showing up at the school for stupid small crimes created by the students
When almost half of the population hates living here
But we are still able to look like rich and perfect people
screw that
none of it's true
by live love laugh May 2, 2006
Get the New Canaan mug.A small suburb of New York city located approximately 1 hour (by car or train) NW of manhattan. New Canaan is often characterized as the home of alcoholic children and popped-collar snobs, but is in fact a great community. If you're looking to raise a family, you'll be hard pressed to find a safer, more wholesome environment for your children. The public schools (although ranked very highly) do suffer from some of the moral decay written about by previous visitors to this site. However, for younger children, there are great pre-K programs such as Toddler Time and Beginners at New Canaan Country School. The town center is friendly and alive, with a good selection of restaurants and shops. Supermarkets are close, with an even greater variety of outlets available within 20 minutes driving distance. Home styles vary from very modest residences near town to sprawling estates with sweeping lawns, pools, and tennis courts. New Canaan does lack ethnic and religious diversity, as it has long been considered less than welcoming to non-WASPs. However, all the cultural diversity New York City has to offer is only an hour away.
by Parental Advice July 1, 2005
Get the new canaan mug.Pretty nice, wealthy place in Connecticut. All the kids are taking the hardest classes possible. Lots of attractive people there. To fit in you need to be wealthy, attractive, and athletic. So many parties here in NC (like every weekend). The town is awesome with a movie theater, red mango, starbucks, j-crew, etc. The people are nice but could be snobby, probably not as snobby as New York City though.
by business15 April 13, 2013
Get the new canaan mug.New Canaan is a good place to live. The people are really nice, although they can be a little snotty.True, it's hard when you walk down the street(if you actually do, instead of in an air conditioned Mercedes) to not see a Range Rover or a suburban. However, it's unfair to stereotype NC people. They are actually really nice, and before you judge you should meet the people. Also,despite the perfectly manicured lawns and huge mansions on Brushy Ridge,look on the inside and be surprised with what you find. Many women get their nails done(I was at Floris and saw a 6 year old there!!!!)as well as their daughters. To the people in Norwalk: Don't base NC people on how they act with the LINKS program-it sucks. Just because they have more expensive clothes than you or a bigger house than yours does not mean that you should be mean and say that all NC people are like that.You are just jealous. It's okay: everyone can be. You can probably tell that I live in New Canaan. just because you live in a smaller house than everyone else doesn't mean we are worse than anyone else.
by Sparkling Perrier July 31, 2006
Get the New Canaan mug.A piss-poor excuse for a police department that "serves" the town of Orange Coun - er, New Canaan Connecticut. Due to the absence of any real crime in New Canaan, the responsibilities of the glorious NCPD includes pulling over newly licensed teenagers for 5-10mph speeding and bitching at them like they just committed homicide. It's a real good thing they stuck it to those hardened criminals by putting unnecessary blemishes on their driving records and skyrocketing their parents' insurance premiums. Go New Canaan. The flagship officers of the department often secure the more high-risk calls, such as standing around like dumbasses at school dances and other events, and then make frequent visits to the school parking lot for the rest of the night where they intercept teenagers returning to pick up their cars after having some fun with their friends, question them, and often breathalyze them as they do at the entrance to every school dance.
Even more pitiful than the police who ride around in their cruisers searching for teenagers to harass while they ignore the real threat - braindead trophy wives driving on their cell phones - are the "Bike Patrol Corps." Yes, New Canaan Police have their very own BIKE SQUAD. Consisting of the cops that were too much of an embarrassment even on standard traffic duty, the Bike Patrol cops endure a 2 week training course the police themselves describe as "RIGOROUS" to become bike cops. Requirements for admission to the bike corps include the following...
-The balls to wear short-shorts over your gelatinous, hairy legs
-The ability to ride a bike without training wheels
-Total lack of self-esteem
Even more pitiful than the police who ride around in their cruisers searching for teenagers to harass while they ignore the real threat - braindead trophy wives driving on their cell phones - are the "Bike Patrol Corps." Yes, New Canaan Police have their very own BIKE SQUAD. Consisting of the cops that were too much of an embarrassment even on standard traffic duty, the Bike Patrol cops endure a 2 week training course the police themselves describe as "RIGOROUS" to become bike cops. Requirements for admission to the bike corps include the following...
-The balls to wear short-shorts over your gelatinous, hairy legs
-The ability to ride a bike without training wheels
-Total lack of self-esteem
Guy 1:Hey man, did you hear about New Canaan Police Officer Ferraro?
Guy 2: No, what's up?
Guy 1: He crashed his police cruiser twice while pursuing teenagers who were on foot, so they put him on bike duty. As a bike cop, a couple of teenagers switched the brakes on his bike. He was riding towards an old lady when he tried to slam on his back brake, but because they had been switched he hit the front brake, flipped over and radioed in "officer down."
Guy 2: No, you're kidding.
Guy 1: I shit you not. So, now they've got him on the night shift as bike patrol. If you want to see him, hang around Elm Street between midnight and 5am to catch him on his normal patrol route.
Guy 2: Wow, what a complete and utter disgrace to real police officers and departments everywhere.
Guy 2: No, what's up?
Guy 1: He crashed his police cruiser twice while pursuing teenagers who were on foot, so they put him on bike duty. As a bike cop, a couple of teenagers switched the brakes on his bike. He was riding towards an old lady when he tried to slam on his back brake, but because they had been switched he hit the front brake, flipped over and radioed in "officer down."
Guy 2: No, you're kidding.
Guy 1: I shit you not. So, now they've got him on the night shift as bike patrol. If you want to see him, hang around Elm Street between midnight and 5am to catch him on his normal patrol route.
Guy 2: Wow, what a complete and utter disgrace to real police officers and departments everywhere.
by Breathalyze me captain January 11, 2008
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