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Mike Carden

A founding member and guitarist of the greatest band on Earth, The Academy Is....

He currently provides the rhythm guitar to Michael Guy Chislett's lead guitar. He also sings backup vocals on two of TAI's songs: he sings "intoxicated circulation" on "Neighbors" and miscellaneous backups on "Slow Down."

He and William Beckett had once been cross-town rivals in the Chicago underground scene, but they eventually befriended each other at local concerts and started up TAI in 2002. This is also known as a fairytale come true.

Mike is known for his classic, half-smiling/open-mouthed shredding faces onstage, where he always stands on the far right side (on William's left).

The one word that can most accurately describe Mike is cute, because that's what he is.

However, Mike was not cute in the evil clown costume that he sported on Halloween, in 2007. He was terrifying then.

Pretty much everyone loves Mike. He's just a likeable guy, who for some reason seems to never know precisely what's going on.

For more information, check out Jack the Camera Guy's episode(s) of TAI TV "The Chronicles of Mike Carden." Jack made a pie chart.
Jack: So, you're saying you're kinda like the fluff on top of, uh, yams on Thanksgiving dinner?

Mike Carden: Yeah, when you eat it with all your friends.... It's tasty.
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An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)
"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."
Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.
"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."
eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016