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Mike Awkburns 

a troll name that sounds like "my cock burns" when you say it
me: I lost my grandfather in the store can you call him on the intercom
worker: sure what's his name
me: Mike
worker: and his last name?
me: Awkburns
worker on the intercom: Mike Awkburns please come to the customer service desk, I repeat Mike Awkburns please come to the customer service desk
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