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The Mattachini 

The act of breaking up with a girl by fist-bumping her; usually ends up with a very awkward moment where the now single girl is trying to figure out what just happened
Kid- I want to break up with her but it will be awkward
Kid2- Do The Mattachini and run away
Kid- Good idea
The Mattachini by PHS2014 September 10, 2011
The best guy friend a girl could possibly have. He has a lot of friends, but being his friend makes you happy and feel important. He is a loving, caring person and will always try and make people happy. He can be hard to hold onto and keep a friendship with, but it's a privilege to even be friends with someone like him. He's an amazing person, who will always be in your heart.
I feel privileged to know a Mattayo.
Mattayo by Tory1994 November 17, 2011

Mantacorn 

A mantacorn is a strange hybrid between a Manta Ray and a Unicorn. This animal only exists in strange LSD-induced dreams, and in the minds of young children!
Person A: Woah, trippy
Person B: What do you see?
Person A: A mantacorn!
Person B: You're an idiot
Mantacorn by Azniac December 14, 2012

mattacks 

What everyone wishes they were. A level of awesomeness that makes everyone else look like a waste of skin.
That's a Mattacks so you may as well not bother trying
mattacks by Claude Toobitts November 14, 2014

Mattabolism 

A serious health issue that causes huge weight gain over time. It also causes chronic flatulence and shitting multiple times a day and heavy lead deposits in the ass causing very slow movement. This condition is often accompanied by a micro penis, heavy deposits of shit in the rear area of the underwear caused by pressurized air explosions passing by fecal matter inside the ass and an inability to reach the areas of the body the need to be cleaned after a bowl movement.

Long term side affects include,

High blood pressure
Heart attack
Swelling of the anal glands
Hemorrhoids
Herpes
hpv
HIV
Syphilis
Homosexuality
Unsatisfied sexual need that results in the patient making multiple attempts to force himself upon the same or opposite sex to satisfy those desires.

(Clinical research has not been able establish if this disease causes sexual frustration or sexual frustration occurs from the micro penis and strong odors of shit from the propelled fecal matter caking up on the buttock and underwear with each movement)
Chris: hey Jeff will you please watch over my family after I’m gone?

Jeff: WTF?
Chris: I was diagnosed with mattabolism. I’m gonna take a 12 gauge and blow my fucking brains out.

Jeff: o shit!!!! Yea I will buddy I understand. If you puss out I’ll do it for you. So you don’t have to suffer.

Jake: I overheard........... So can I fuck your wife after your gone?

Chris: well FUCK YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mattabolism by Iphistagash February 23, 2020

Mattacky 

Often used in homosexual or slash fanfiction, Mattacky is a nickname given to the pairing of Avenged Sevenfold frontman M. Shadows and rhythm guitarist Zacky Vengeance.
Mattacky is a delicious pairing that should be used more often.
Mattacky by scuzzbucket December 9, 2008