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A place in Essex where paedophiles such as Paedo Gary won’t hesitate to maleste you. There is bare weed going around and everyone throws GAVS to get with someone.
Let’s go get raped by Gary in Maldon
by Solid guy who wrote this December 31, 2018
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Maldon... maldon is a shitty little town in the dengie area it’s full of spastics It’s population consists of slaggy girls who are most likely being fingered behind maccers as we speak and the boys other wise known as the “heybridge Spartans” (heybridge being a sub area of maldon.. which is more shit and poor than actual maldon) who consistently call each other “brev” and drink k ciders on a weekend or weekday really there all just a bunch of wrongens wouldn’t be surprised if they fucked there own sisters auntys or mothers
We going maldon bro?

Nah man don’t wanna catch any aids
by El ym January 28, 2019
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A word to describe chocolately, caramel, whipped cream on top. With soft chewy chocolate chip cookies on the side. Arizona tea in a big cup. Beautiful potatos on the other side, with some fries.
Me: Yes, Trish. I would like more maldon.
Trish: Okay, here's some more maldon!
by Lee-ann November 11, 2007
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A shithole in the middle of Essex.

Here the family trees have loops instead of leaves.
On bus to Maldon: "I hope this bus crashes before I get back to Maldon".
by JimmyJimJim February 27, 2012
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