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I'm either about to toot or shoot

This expression would be used by someone who has a degree of uncertainty about whether they have an urge to fart or whether he or she might actually shart or fully shit themselves.
I'm either about to toot or shoot right now, shall I risk it anyway?

I just finished my second bowl of nachos and I can't tell if I'm about to toot or shoot.

now, if you two don't mind, i'm going to bed, before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed - or worse, expelled. 

"now, if you two don't mind, i'm going to bed, before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed - or worse, expelled." - hemione granger
"she needs to sort out her priorities." - ronald weasley
1. To be bothersome.
2. Keep Pestering

Origin: Lancashire, UK
Shurrup wiv yer meithering!

Pronounced: (mI-ther) accent on the long I.
Meither by Cbass July 31, 2003
It's an old Lancashire (UK) word meaning to bother or worry someone by constantly asking questions............
"Mum, can I have this?" "Mum, can I do that?" etc....

Pronounced "mytha"
Meither by Lesley Clakr June 21, 2003
when you’re too lazy to say me neither
“i don’t like tomatoes

yeah, meither”
meither by maari April 2, 2021
Jason: "I truly didn't enjoy that rectal exam!"

Sara:"Meither!"
Meither by RAESTAR December 11, 2002