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When you pay $5 for a homeless man or woman (your choice) to tongue punch your fart box in an alleyway while you are on lunch break.
Boss: You are five minutes late getting back to work. This is a pattern and cannot continue.

Employee: I’m sorry. I got this guy down by the park that does the best lunch punches so it’s hard to get away.

Boss: Oh that’s ok then. I’ll go with you tomorrow. Maybe we can get a 2 for 1.
via giphy
by Eaton Holgoode January 16, 2019
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