a lazyfat ass do-nothing internet blogger whose entire life is spent before a screen eating chips and KFC while attempting a last-gasp at a career in journalism read by no one; a play on "bump on a log" saying.
Ed sat like a lump on a blog for hours tweeting nonsense to the masses
"Getting your lump on" is a humorous euphemism for having sex. The term originated from a Facebook group called "LumpyHorses," which is devoted to promoting a better understanding of these amazing, mysterious creatures.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'