Kelp It

Shortened version of "Can't Help It."

E: why are you always squeezing my ass?

T: I kelp it! It's beautiful.

by Daddyzgurl September 12, 2017

kelp

an undersea cabbage.

i swam amongst kelp in the sea.

by eug [the almighty kelp] February 10, 2004

Kelping

To have intercourse with a man, covered in kelp, to create the illusion of being a kelp monster. Whenever the girl attempts to scream or moan, the man slaps her with his kelp hands.

Mike was kelping Chelsea on Saturday. He kelped her up, down, sideways, all across town and back.

by Bronos September 1, 2015

kelp

A conversation made up entirely of dead birds...

Joe: That movie was amazing!

Sam: Sure, if you've got a map of it.

Joe: But the kelp is really green this year.

Sam: I like barbecue.

...and the conversation continues like this until someone screams or the world explodes.

by Jack the fridge monkey July 8, 2010

kelp

Used in place of cool, chill, ok, etc.

Does 6:30 sound good to meet up?
Yah, kelp.

by B Fair May 11, 2008

Kelp

Low grade Marijuana that is stringy and inexplicably moist like someone sprinkled water on it.

Hey that bag of kelp you sold me didn't even get me high.

by jerkschicken July 3, 2010

Kelp

A guy who is whipped, and sucks up to you just to get some.
Also who uses excessive smiley faces, and when he wants to hang out claims he's busy and will "stop by."

Guy: Yeah girl I love chick flicks, we can watch them whenever :) :) :)
Girl: You are seriously such a kelp.

by madiara February 8, 2010