Jokes invented by Yakov Smirnoff, involving the comparisons of things in the United States and the Soviet Union.
"In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drives you!"

"In America, you go to parties. In Soviet Russia, party goes to you!"

"In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!"

"In America, you define dictionary. In Soviet Russia, dictionary defines you!"

"In America, you shoot gun. In Soviet Russia, gun shoots you!"
by Dave July 14, 2004
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Originated with Cold War comic genius Yakov Smirnoff.

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, party always finds you. -- Yakov Smirnoff

Popular on slashdot, appearances on Family Guy, The Simpsons, Futurama.
In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you.
by Saggy June 9, 2004
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A quote used by people who think they're slav and try to tell someone how hard it was back home.
In Soviet Russia, you don't cook food, Food cook you
by MikeyD25 January 30, 2018
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A place where the opposite of the norm happens. As shown in the example, instead you driving the car...
by IanTheLUEser December 14, 2003
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A beautiful place full of communism. Everything here is backwards
In Russian accent: "in soviet russia, you do not kill communists, COMMUNISTS KILL YOU!"
by Starkasm March 12, 2015
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While most of the other definitions on this topic are technically correct, none of them attribute the joke to its originator, Yakov Smirnoff, an actor and standup comedian who is pretty recent and also still alive.

I can't believe the contributors to this definition were so stupid that they think a joke by a comedian who was incredibly famous during the late 80s and is still very famous is actually a joke that just "comes from the internet"!
In soviet russia, contributors to internet sites probably know what they're talking about, because they don't here.
by maxwell tallman September 9, 2010
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