I started by cleaning up the clutter. Then, I cleaned out and unclogged the sink. Next, I bleached the kitchen and clean the stove. I replaced my dinky plastic bookshelf with the real wooden bookshelf I got a while ago. I swept the carpet (because it was took late to vacuum). Organized my random shit I had laying around (cords, cologne, etc.). Then I cleaned the bathroom. If I didn’t have to sleep to go work 2 jobs I would have bleached the walls and vents. What’s the cripple doing? Being waited on, hand and foot, and having women brought to him to suck his dick?

Hym “Because the bare minimum I can manage is the maximum amount that is possible in a given amount of time. Now what happens? Does the retard’s impaled corpse appear outside my window when I wake up? No? Does someone explain to me how Dr. Bus is quoting the things I said to a guy the day after I say them? No? Are all of my problems external and not a reflection of my inability or behavior? Yes. And now I’m allowed to criticize you all.”

The bare minimum I can manage by Hym Iam October 18, 2022

I am the manager

What you say to customers, who have nothing better to do than complain and blame you for their life problems, when they believe that you are the bane of their existence ( usually via coupons expiring, websites being faulty or the weather being dangerous), but it is your job to not only deal with said problems, but also show that you know exactly what you are doing. All while not telling them that they are idiots and/or that they need to learn common sense or manners.

Customer: why won't you deliver to me?
Me: there's ice on the roads, a major accident, Nuclear fallout and you're out of our area
Customer: I need to speak to a manager
Me:*turns 360 degrees* I am the manager

I am the manager by Why am I still at marcos? February 13, 2019

i, evax humbly submit a toast to nicholas alexander for successfully managing to pirate warcraft iii so he may play defense of the ancients. congratulations, nick. enjoy your dota.

CONSUME THE CUM CHALICE

I, EvaX humbly submit a toast to Nicholas Alexander for successfully managing to pirate WarCraft III so he may play defense of the ancients. Congratulations, Nick. Enjoy your dota.

i, evax humbly submit a toast to nicholas alexander for successfully managing to pirate warcraft iii so he may play defense of the ancients. congratulations, nick. enjoy your dota. by Siriusexclu October 27, 2020

I want to speak to the manager

Karen says this every time somebody gets an order 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of an order wrong

Karen: I want to speak to the manager
Employer: oh shit
Manager: oh shit
CEO: oh shit
President of the USA: oh shit
UN: oh shit
Lizard guys: oh shit
Every sentient being in the universe: oh shit

I want to speak to the manager by &qwertyuiop& October 27, 2019

God Shot

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".

Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."

God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011

Word of the Day on September 18, 2026

city chicken

A food native to Pittsburgh/Western Pennsylvania in which cubes of pork and/or veal are put on a short, wooden skewer, breaded, then baked and/or fried.

I've heard that city chicken originated during the Great Depression, when folks didn't have enough money to buy full cuts of meat, so they assembled meat scraps on a wooden skewer, creating a make-shift drumstick. Hence the name.

Are yinz havin' city chicken for dinner?

city chicken by TRF August 31, 2006

Word of the Day on September 17, 2026

Is that cake?

Another way to say is this fake? Like the show real or cake

“Slayyyter just announced another album last night”
“No way, is that cake?”
“Yeah whoops this isn’t real”

Is that cake? by Sexyyred September 15, 2026

Word of the Day on September 16, 2026

just fokin missing her

native american reservation origin... to miss an ex so badly that everyone can see it.. can be used for either sex eg. just fokin missing her/him

friend : *noticably sad*
me : look at you all sad & shit
friend : shut up!
me : just fokin missing her huh?

just fokin missing her by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 15, 2026

endwarfins

The rush of neurotransmitters and neuropeptides triggered specifically by watching the Seven Dwarfs march home singing "Heigh-Ho" — that particular high of pickaxes, whistling while you work, and communal domestic bliss in a cottage built for men half your height.

I only meant to watch the Heigh-Ho scene for the endwarfins, and then it was two hours later and I'd watched the whole movie.

Endwarfins aren't just a Snow White thing — I get the same hit off the Lollipop Guild in Oz.

endwarfins by Howard Ogden September 13, 2026

Word of the Day on September 14, 2026

caillou

A slang term used to describe a bald person, typically someone who is completely bald or has a closely shaved head. The term is derived from the infamous, hairless kids’ cartoon character of the same name.

Example 1:
“Did you see that caillou over there? His head is reflecting the sun like a disco ball.”
Example 2:
“I think Dave is finally accepting his hair loss. He just went full caillou and shaved the whole thing off.”

caillou by WMH01 September 12, 2026

Word of the Day on September 13, 2026