if your siblings are nearby and you don't want them-ahem-your parents to hear you cuss, i got a perfect solution for you! This is perfect because it's dirty and it's not! What DO YOU meAn? You're siblings won't suspect a THING!and If your parents hear it, they'll suspect a thing, but at least you're not saying 'holy fucking shit bitch' which doesn't even make sense and will probably make your parents think your on something
your dumb clumsy self (comment 'i' if you can relate!): 'holy banana muffins, I stubbed my toe on the side of the desk!'
your siblings: 'yummy! bananas!' (100% guaranteed they'll say this!)
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.
FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"
FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"