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Hands off the merchandise! 

Hands off the merchandise!

A protest/order uttered by one of either gender when someone else (usually of the opposite gender) wants to indulge in a little touchy-feely, but he’s not in the mood.
Weary girl (pushing her guy's "exploring" hand away from her boobs): Hey! Hands off the merchandise! I wanna go to sleep now!
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hands off the merchandise! 

Basically "Don't touch my stuff, punk."
Person A: Dude, awesome iPod!! (reaches for iPod)

Person B: Hey buddy, hands off the merchandise!