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A substance that causes Grunts the lowest form of Covenant in the Halo series to become powerful enough to kick the ass of anyone, including Chuck Norris.

All grunts are born with enough power to conquer the known universe, however their brains are too small and weak to unlock this potential so they are stuck as the rank-and-file troops of the Covenant armies. Gruntiness is a mighty substance that lets grunts unlock their incredible power. It equally affects all beings, so if someone took Gruntiness they would become super powerful, however, Gruntiness is so powerful that any non-grunts who absorb Gruntiness will instantly being incinerated by a surge of power. The only non-grunts known to ingest Gruntiness and live are:

Chuck Norris
Bruce Lee
Mr. T
Captain Falcon
The girl from Serenity

The only way a non-grunt could not be instantly incinerated by Gruntiness is to jump into an active volcano and live.

An alternate way for a grunt to be imbued with Gruniness is to do the Gruntiness Dance.
Recipe for Gruntiness:

1 boiled grunt foot
1 cup of splattered grunt brains
500 cups of sugar
The captain's pipe
1 Gummy Bear
The Easter Bunny
5 cups liquid methane
1 tsp. of salt
A chocolate cell phone (as in a cell phone made of chocolate)
7 slices of bacon, one of which has been sneezed on
2 mashed Elite mandibles
1/2 cup of chopped Drone legs
500L of Coca-Cola (Must be name brand!)
1L of beer
2L of vodka
Master Chief's helmet

Put on Master Chief's helmet and mash all other ingredients in a blender. Drink resulting solution, then find the shisno and inhale the gas very slowly for 5 min. Afterwards, take a bath.

Recipe found on Gruntipedia, the Halo Humor Wiki,
by Xenomorph42Q April 28, 2008
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