first-wheeling

(n.) to take oneself out on date.

When a couple requests to be alone, a third wheel derails into a first wheel. First-wheeling can be devastating for individuals who dislike their own company.

A good first-wheel could start with laying out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; then unicycling home under the rose-colored sunset. When you get back, to look in the mirror, telling yourself, "my treat," and then blushing, flattered.

Martyn: "Nolan, I am getting tired of you coming on my dinner dates with Phosie."
Nolan: "Ok, I will start first-wheeling and get to know myself better."
Martyn: "Maximal pleb behavior."

first-wheeling by nolandc September 20, 2019

First-wheeling

To go on a date with oneself.

Lonewolf love and self care to the max. To lay out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; to unicycle into the satin-colored sunset, complimenting yourself on the summer outfit; when you return home, to look in the mirror, tell yourself "my treat," and then to blush.

Now that I’m single I’ll be arguing with myself over who pays the bill and eating all my own popcorn. First-wheeling with no handlebars.

First-wheeling by daltonjfk September 23, 2019