Fartnark 

Someone who outwardly expresses disgust and tries to make you feel bad for farting, when it is a perfectly natural bodily function.

"Dude, are you seriously fartnarking me right now? it's a natural function of the human body, man"
"WE'RE IN AN ELEVATOR! YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME!!"

Fartnark by Tuubx May 29, 2021

farnarkeling 

Fictitious sport invented by New Zealand/Aussie genius John Clarke, in his persona of NZ sheep farmer Fred Dagg.

To quote his website "In essence, Farnarkeling is engaged in by two teams whose purpose is to arkle, and to prevent the other team from arkeling, using a flukem to propel a gonad through sets of posts situated at random around the periphery of a grommet. Arkeling is not permissible, however, from any position adjacent to the phlange (or leiderkrantz) or from within 15 yards of the wiffenwacker at the point where the shifting tube abuts the centre-line on either side of the 34 metre mark, measured from the valve at the back of the defending side's transom-housing."

farnarkeling by Ossminid October 25, 2007

farnarkling 

the group activity whereby everyone sits around discussing the need to "do something" but nothing actually happens

I'm not going to sit around farnarkling all afternoon, I'm off to get something to eat

farnarkling by MF.Aurelius February 23, 2006

Fartnard 

Someone who is adorable and loving.

Come here you little fartnard

Fartnard by Thenibblet September 11, 2016

fartmark 

A mark on the backside of underwear resulting from flatulence which excretes a small amount of fecal matter. Usually brown in color.

Also a derogatory name.

Example 1: You have a fartmark in your underwear.

Example 2: You're a fartmark.

fartmark by Explicit_Incog May 17, 2008

Fartnar 

Audible flatulence expressed for the purpose of navigating through a crowd in the dark.

Humans are not capable of navigating via sonar (like a bat), so fartnar is the only logical alternative.

I totally just used fartnar to disperse the crowd.

Fartnar by Proxymo March 27, 2011

farnarkle 

Australian, verb: to waste time; to spend time in unnecessary and/or unproductive activities; to muck around; to faff about.

Derived from the late great comedian John Clarke's commentary on the obscure but magnificent (and totally nonexistent) sport of farnarkeling.

The leadership team as usual just farnarkled about for the whole strategic retreat, all they produced were some hangovers and a few irrelevant flip charts covered with sticky notes.

All you ever do is farnarkle. Will you just bloody well finish the dishes?

"In essence, Farnarkeling is engaged in by two teams whose purpose is to arkle, and to prevent the other team from arkeling, using a flukem to propel a gonad through sets of posts situated at random around the periphery of a grommet."

farnarkle by anonymous September 15, 2020