Fart Fact 1

Over 99% of the gases in a fart don’t smell! This is because a fart is mostly oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen and methane. Nitrogen is not produced in the gut, but comes from the air we breathe.

“Malcolm’s just let go a right stinker!”
“Yeah, he’s the living antithesis of Fart Fact 1.”

by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Fart Fact 14

This is the very last one in the series but every single one of them is true! This one tells you that farting isn't rude or disgusting. It may seem that way because they usually smell bad, but it's just something a healthy human body does, a normal by-product of your body digesting food, so if you need to let one go, do it and if anyone objects fuck ‘em.

“Mikey let rip in class, teacher called him on it, so he explained fart Fact 14 to her and suggested if she was worried she should see her doctor. I nearly bust a gut trying not to laugh.”

by AKACroatalin November 3, 2019

Fart Fact 12

Believe it or not your arse can tell whether you are going to fart or crimp off a length! The nerves in your rectum can tell whether it’s gas or solids on the move so if you need to let it go, let it go. There is, however, one exception; when you have a case of the runs, Kansas Quickstep if you prefer, and your crap is more liquid, the nerve endings can become confused which can result in a follow through.

“I know Fart Fact 12 says it’s not possible, but when Malcolm farts, it always smells like he he’s crapped himself.”

by AKACroatalin October 31, 2019

Fart Fact 13

Holding in a fart won’t harm you. You're not going to explode or damage your gut, but sooner or later your body is going to get rid of that gas, so why not consider letting it go when it will have the most effect.

“Mikey got slung out of church!”
“Why?”
“Well, he knew fart fact 13 and was holding one in. The vicar got up to do the sermon and his text was from Proverbs, ‘I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon’ and Mikey let it go!”
“What happened?”
“Half of the people were outraged and half were pissing themselves, and Mikey got slung out.”

by AKACroatalin November 1, 2019

Fart Fact 11

This is a fact unlike most of the stuff submitted by brain dead retards. Because of the food they eat vegetarians fart more than non-vegetarians! Apparently, it's because much of the food they eat, particularly beans and soya based products, carbohydrates made of molecules that are too large to be absorbed in our small intestine during digestion so they pass into the large intestine still intact. This leads to an increase in certain bacteria in the lower intestine needed to break down these carbohydrates which produces large amounts of hydrogen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide gas. So the next time a vegetarian tells you to stop eating meat to lower your carbon footprint, tell them to stop farting and set an example.

“Kim farts more than Malcolm!”
“It’s because she’s a vegetarian, fart fact 11.”

by AKACroatalin October 30, 2019

Fart Fact 10

This is a fact, not wishful thinking. If you’re a woman, a fart can really take you by surprise. One woman took to Social Media to ponder something strange that happened to her when she farted. She asked the question "Do you ever fart and the fart goes past your vagina and your labia moves?" She had hundreds of responses from women who had experienced this phenomenon which, apparently, is called a vart.

“Kim’s just let go a vart.”
“How do you know?”
“Her snatch wobbled, Fart Fact 10.”

by AKACroatalin October 30, 2019