Dylan is a boy, who is good at everything and is in love with one special person. and is very tall with good hair. don't mess with Dylan he will beat your ass.
Dylan MCcane is a man who is hot and good at everything. He has one special girl who he adores and has very good hair. He also probably plays a sport like football or basketball.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.