V. To engage in the sexual act of "jerking off" with the hand that was not intended, by God, for that purpose.
Linked in case studies to the acquisition of carpal tunnel by exposing your "wanker" to odd angles of hand movement.
See also: Awkward masturbation techniques.
See also: The ouewwwwww face.
Andrew, upon getting home from school Wednesday, attempted to shag his dog with his left hand, which he had never used before. Having missed out on years of practiced stroking, the left hand was inconsistent, uncooperative, and altogether an awkward and unfortunate choice. Andrew has decided that there will be no more jerking off with the non-dominant hand ever again.
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. Penguin Books,1992. p. 38)